Nepali Times
Three Asses


Five months after mooting a high-level political mechanism, the three useful idiots of the New Republic have come full circle. On Wednesday, they once more discussed how to discuss setting it up. The Eh-maleys and Kangresi dissidents seem to have come around to agreeing to let Girja Bau become the Grand Ayatollah of the New Mechanics. Now that he has been nominated for the Nobel Piece Prize, everyone is suddenly feeling generous about letting him lead the samyantra if he wants it so desperately.

And this just in: even if GPK doesn't get to go to Oslo later this year, we have it on good authority that he has been nominated for a consolation dosallah from the Nobel Academy right here in Baneswor.


Makunay had a hard time getting over the fact that Barack Obama recognised him in a crowd of 190 heads of state in Copenhagen last month. ("Hey, aren't you the guy who gave me that rock?") And he was even more chuffed that the Reds gave him the red carpet treatment in Beijing recently. Which sent a strong signal to the Baddies back home that China is in no mood to see the Gang of Four resurrected in its backyard. And to really rub their noses into it, they used the Makunay visit to invite President Ram Baron over in spring, the guy the Maoists most love to hate.

But before he goes off on any more state visits, Makunay should tell Gayatri Madame she can't attend banquets in Reeboks. And someone whisper to the Financial Minister that when it says 'black tie', he can't appear in a North Face down jacket and makal topi. Then there is the scandal about the prime minister and his 35-member entourage flying back from Hong Kong on Dragon Air when RA410 was at the next gate flying half-empty direct to Kathmandu. Nepal Airlines not good enuf for Mr Nepal, or what?


Not to be outdone, Com Red PKD also airdashed on Dragon Air Wednesday night, ostensibly at the invitation of NRNs in Honkieland. But the real reason could be another tetete with Avdesh Bihari Mathur, hand-picked as Nepal handler by PMO spook-in-chief MK Narayanan. Awesome met Mathur in London and Singapore and promised to behave himself, but hasn't. Maybe both should end this cloak-and-dagger charade and just meet in Delhi or Kathmandu.


K-town is also abuzz with the public falling out between PKD and BRB. It was bound to happen sooner or later, but for Laldhoj the public humiliation by Chhabilal was the last straw. Comrade ("Can't-Help-Shoot-Myself-In-The-Foot-Everytime-I-Open-My-Mouth") Awesome did it again: after the Shaktikhor Video and the Baneswor Harangue, it is now the Khanna Garment Tape. Comrade Faux Pas said the Injuns wanted BRB to be prime minister knowing full well that is the kiss of death to his chief ideologue.


Plans are still up in the air, but as soon as he gets back from HK Awesome scoots off to Kalapani to raise the Double Triangle over occupied Nepali territory. If he really wants to use nationalism to stem a split in his party, may the Ass suggest he take the Nepali flag and plant it not on the banks of the Kali, but the Sutlej?


1. Brazensky Viktor
These politicians will never get it will they? I mean how long Nepalese people will have to endure haggling and squabbling among these three stooges who have completely forgotten the mandate that Nepalese people have given to them? These so called senior politicians need to come to their senses and put their act together before the things could get really ugly.

2. Ashish
It's not right to demoralize Nepali leaders like this for whatever they are. Nepali Times should be renamed as Indian Times now for it has Indian interest in it. Any direct article or photo- shot criticising Indian policy on Nepal? Dare it?

3. ripvanwinkle
demoralized leaders, the only lot that are demoralized are the general public in nepal. and honeslty if these are going to be the founder and forefathers of new republic of nepal, anexxing of nepal with india is not a distant sure every nepali has it in the back of his or her head. lastly india is not going to move from where it is in the near future and neither is nepal, so my friends get used to living next to india. and if the journalists of the country dont report everything that the leaders do wrong who will. you.

4. May
Beautiful ass, one of the funniest I have ever read. As long as we have the ability to laugh at ourselves, there is still hope.

5. jange
Stop maligning donkeys. If only our leaders had the admirable qualities found in donkeys! And furthermore it is offensive to call a donkey an ass. I demand that you cease immediately and issue an apology to all donkeys for having hurt their feelings and sense of dignity. I also demand that donkeys have proper political representation in the NEW Constitution of NEW NEPAL, complete with their own Ganarajya. We also demand complete restitution for all the deprivation and insults that were heaped upon us by the rest of society for the last 100,000 years. And you are in violation of copyright for using the concept of donkyes.

(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)