So they're going to set up another high-level political mechanism to sort out the political deadlock. Great idea. Maybe the previous high-level mechanisms were just not high enough to do the trick. Or perhaps there was something wrong within the mother of all mechanisms.
But at the rate we are going, our New Nepal is going to be a nation of mechanics who don't know how to fix this mechanism. The Ass's two cents is that even this new thingie is not going to work because it is too high level. The leaders who are currently a part of this mechanism either need supplemental oxygen to climb up to their bedrooms, or are civilian supremacists who can't utter a sentence without threatening to take the country back to kingdom come.
So the best way out of the deadlock is to set up a not-so-high-level political mechanism with advisers to the senior leaders like Amaresh Bhai, Raghu Jee and Kamred Prakash in it. The advisers all get along like a house on fire, so it's time to set up a High-Level Advisory Mechanism.
***
Expect Senior Leader Girija Prasad Koirala to be airlifted out any day again, because the docs in Singapore apparently found out the reason his remaining lung had stopped functioning altogether was because the onset of winter worsens the pollution in KTM Valley and made his haemo count plummet. Trouble is, even Biratnagar is polluted in winter, so the doctors have recommended moving him from Maharajganj to Tokha. Now, that should take the political mechanism to an even 'higher' level.
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The reason the Baddies are lately looking like chickens that have inadvertently had their heads separated from their thoraxes is not just that they managed at the nick of time to save themselves from splitting right down the middle by postponing the party convention till next year, but also because they mysteriously failed to get an invite to an international convention of commies in New Delhi last week. The Red World Conference had delegates and observers from 90 of the world's fraternal communist parties attending. Representing Nepal was our very own fire-breathing Comrade Oli, who was personally invited by India's CPM. Conspicuous in their absence were the Nepali Baddies, which is surprising for a party that regards itself as the vanguard of world revolution. It looks like Comrade Awesome has not just fallen foul of the Injun govt but also of Messrs Yechury, Karat & Co, Pvt Ltd.
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As reported last week, the Baddies have stepped up extortion nationwide. Businesses across the country have received letters demanding anything between Rs 50,000-100,000 for "supporting the on-going agitation for civilian supremacy". That's a great sales pitch because it's like saying: "You are hereby required to donate money to us, or else?but if you do fork out the required sum, you can be assured your money will be put to good use to shut the country down for three days in December." Donors sent word to the donkey this week to deny they'd ever asked their partners to give in to baddie extortion. However, employees of donor-funded projects admit they regularly make office collections of percentages of salaries to keep local comrades happy without telling HQ, for fear they may be shut down.
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They're really catching 'em young these days. Baburam Bhattarai on Wednesday gave away prizes to those who stood first, second and third in the All-Nepal National Speech-giving Competition. With tv news full of netas giving bhasans, the kids obviously had a lot of practice. Maybe next should be a Nepal Idol, not for singing but for speechifying. Showing the world what we do best.
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Now that Kathmandu Fried Chicken has just opened there should be a slogan contest to get Nepalis hooked on the Colonel's drumsticks. The Ass already has a couple of potential winning entries: 'Karsapko Kukhuro', 'Rato Bhaley Kwayn Kwayn!', 'Noon Khwayeko Kukhuro', or even 'Khukuri Kaan?'
ass(at)nepalitimes.com
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