The Nepali language has all kinds of uses for the verb "khanu" (to eat). Ministers greet each other with "Khanu bho?" when they meet in the corridors of power, but they actually mean "How are you?" We eat air ("haba khanu"), we eat water, we eat cigarettes ("churot khanu"), eat blame ("gali khanu") and we even eat bribes ("ghoos khanu"). The whole debate about the vice president is about him eating his oath ("sapath khanu") in Hindi. Given the food crisis that is looming in this country, it figures that we are a nation preoccupied with filling our bellies and one that prioritises eating above all else.
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The Makunay Govt's honeymoon period is over, and the PM marked the occasion by supersizing his jumbo cabinet by another dozen or so ministers to reach a record 42 members who are now all eating their ministries ("mantralaya khanu"). This proves Parkinson's Second Law which states that the size of the cabinet will expand in indirect proportion to the government's effectiveness. The Madhesi members were inducted into the cabinet to shore up the fragile coalition and hopefully it will work otherwise we will have a huge hole in the state exchequer. Quite symbolic, though, that the last ministries to go were the Ministry of Environment, and the Ministry of Men, Women and Children and the Ministry of Scientific Technology. These are regarded as 'not important' ministries because of the slim pickings available there ("khanai paidaina"). Still, that didn't prevent one Sad Bhavana stalwart to strike while the iron was hot and grab whatever he could: a berth as Minister Without Portfolio. Wonder what potentiality to forage he saw there.
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There is a lot of moaning and groaning among Kathmandu's chatterati that there is no government at present. What are they complaining about? What else is new? The best periods in this country have been when there has been no government. The logic is simple: since governments make mistakes, not having a government means no one has a chance to make any mistakes. Which is why a militant party staged a press conference at the Reporters' Club the other day brandishing pistols in front of the gathered journalists and dared the Home Minister to come and get them. And when there is no government, a five-year-old boy in Banepa was allowed to drive a car through traffic, cheered on by cops and be felicitated by none other than the vice-chair of the Constituent Assembly. Way to go!
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Has Comrade Awesome taken the Baddies from being a godless party to one that is god-fearing? Chairman Dahal seems to have suddenly turned spiritual in his old age to atone for his sins. What else could explain his presence at a prayer vigil organised by Dinabandhu Pokhrel the other day bedecked in khatas and garlands? The preacher man looked stern-faced throughout the proceedings, and we can't really blame him since it was Awe-Inspiring's party that assassinated his father in Nawalparasi during the war. Guess even atheists have a guilty conscience.
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Worried by growing illicit liaisons among his flock, Chairman Tremendous has got his party secretariat to dash off a directive to female comrades to get married forthwith. The letter from Paris Danda to 13 women CA members of marriageable age states that female comrades currently living in sin should tie the knot, settle down and raise families. This hasn't gone down too well with feminist comrades like Jayapuri Didi who have told the party to go mind its own business.
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Without too much fuss in the paparazzi press, King-ji has moved back up to Nagarjun, and has granted audiences to a slew of visitors in the past week, including an NRN delegation and like-minded hacks. The ex-Majesty is supposed to be relaxed, happy and rather pleased with himself. His message to everyone is: "Look, I voluntarily stepped down from the throne so things would get better, but the country is going to pot." With one visiting journalist, KingG even expressed his fear that the country was heading towards ethnic fragmentation and that if the people wanted him back to preserve the country's unity, he was always willing.
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