Somehow it doesn't feel right calling the right honourable prime minister by his Nepali initials 'Makunay' anymore. Despite being a communist, Comrade Nepal apparently did a tour of the temples to thank the lord for having propelled him to PMship. When the swearing-in was delayed, seems Lainchor was getting a bit antsy and inquired about what was holding things up. Apparently he was waiting for clearance from his astrologers. The delay was therefore caused by a Soothsayer and not Soodsayer.
Trust PKD to get back to his Pistachio Palace and sulk. And he couldn't help crying sour grapes and lament that he should never have arm-twisted the JNK to get MKN nominated as a CA member and how he never imagined Nepalji would grow to be a "poisonous tree". MKN couldn't let that pass, and in his inaugural address retorted: "I am neither a poisonous tree nor a magic tree. I will try to be a tree that bears fruit and gives shade to travelers." Hear-hear.
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The Ass' prediction is that it will take at least two more weeks for the UML to form a new govt, and even then it is doubtful that it will be complete cabinet. Wanna bet? If it was so difficult to agree on even Surendra P and Bidya B, imagine trying to negotiate with 22 members of the coalition. Looks like there was a formidable tug-o-war between Oli (backing Bidya because of his soft spot for Madan Bhandri's widow) and Jhallu (backing Suren 'cos he is his bro-in-law). The compromise was to give them defence and finance, respectively. And it's not just the eh-malays who are hopelessly split. The NC has got a vertical rift between the proxies of Brave Lion and Ram Chandra. And the MJF of course want all six of the biggie ministries, that is if it can stop Upadro vs BijayG from tearing each other apart. The remarkable thing is that none of the big names who won elections wants to be on a cabinet led by a PM who lost, probably sensing its short lifespan. They're all losers scrambling for a place at the head table.
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The higher they fly, the lower they fall. Upadro Yadav was a Maobaddie who was caught in Delhi, managed to get released when the two comrades he was with were incarcerated by the Indians and later deported to Nepal. A year later, he emerges in Gorakhpur to give a fiery speech to reinstate the royalty a few weeks before communal riots break out in Nepalganj. The Madhes movement gathers strength and there is Upadro again taking its lead. He forms the MJF, contests elections and sweeps the Tarai. He rejoins the Maoists as a coalition partner and becomes foreign minister, and backs the baddies to the hilt against NJF joining the UML coalition. But there he was last week, virtually voted out of his party parliamentary board by a non-Madhesi leader, BijayG. The reason was that he was hardly in Nepal, and humility was not his strong point. He told his party's MPs to leave the politics to him. Now, he should've know that no politician likes to be told not to do politics. Meanwhile BijaG spent the best part of the past nine months throwing lavish parties for MJF MPs to get them on his side. The investment on all the booze and sekuwa paid off. Still, last week as the bargaining gathered steam the going rate for a mid-level Forum MP was said to be 30 lakhs.
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As the Forum teeters on the verge of a split, the TMLP is in the horns of dilemma to go or not to go into government. If it joins it would lose the moral high ground it attained by staying virgin for the past nine months. But if it doesn't it would cause heartburn among junior MPs who are licking their chops at the prospect of ministerial berths, and they'd have to just watch the MJF and Sad Bhavana rake in all the moolah. The TMLP is seriously short of cash and needs to replenish its war chest.
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While on his way for his swearing in at Shit All Nibas, the new prime minster passed mountains of garbage at Jamal. He said he felt so helpless and embarrassed, his first edict when he got to his desk at Singha Darbar was to order the rubbish cleared up "no matter what it takes". The next day the garbage started being collected.
ass(at)nepalitimes.com
