It was bound to happen sooner or later: RIM and CCOMPOSA have finally said they want to have nothing to do with our Buddies and have started divorce proceedings. This can only mean one of two things: that our own Revolutionary Left Wing and its youth vanguard (called 'Red Guards', for old times sake) will be seen by international commies as the genu-wine article.
Or, being unshackled from the doctrinaire comrades at the Revolutionary International Movement will allow the UCPN-M to turn into Euro-communists. Either way, it just goes to prove that one can always be much more fashionably hardline about someone else's revolution than one's own.
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Another RIM and CCOMPOSA member is the Communists Party of Afghanistan-Maoists (yes, even there), and it has just fired a salvo at our own Maobaddies for not stopping Gurkha recruitment. Shola Jawid, the mouth organ of Afghan Maoists, reported in a recent issue that Gurkha mercanaries are working under direct command of US Special Forces in Shindand Airport and with the Canadian NATO contingent in Kandahar and the Polish unit in Ghazni.
The Afghan comrades have written a snarling letter to our comrades warning: 'The new government of Nepal including its leading body the CPN-M not only have not opposed the presence of Nepalese armed lackeys in Afghanistan but they have ... allowed it to happen.'
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Why did Bhusan Dahal have to go all the way to Oslo to interview Comrade Stupendific? Dahal began with the icebreaker: "What a coincidence that we should meet here in Oslo." Whereupon Dahal replied: "It's not a coincidence, haven't we been together here for three days already?" Oops.
Then Dahal tired to corner Dahal by asking him how it felt to come from a country of darkness to a country of light to meet a king. After praising His Majesty Harald V's grasp of climate change, Dahal went on to disclose that he actually tried "till the last moment" in 2006 to convince Kingji to be a constitutional monarch. Wait a minute, wasn't Awesome supposed to be batting for a republic then?
***
Two days after waxing eloquent in Helsinki about his comitment to the free press, Awesome returned to Kathmandu to come out guns blazing again against "feudal owners of media houses" and this time accused them of being "smugglers". Whoa.
Then he went on to add: "If the media doesn't behave itself and provide correct information, the people will deal with them." We can understand why he's angry: the media had splashed across the front pages the candid camera shot of sonny boy in a drunken stupour in Dhulikhel. And then evening news on tv broadcast over and over again his speech in Khula Much where he thundered against just about every politician in this country, and then promptly broke down
and cried.
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Things have got bad enough for a radio station to call in two experts to the studio this week to psychoanalyse the primordial minister. Their conclusion: delusions of grandeur, megalomania, paranoia and an attempt to mask failures. The latest criticism concerns his junket. After spending ten days abroad, Terrifico told the press on arrival his main achievements were:
a) Figuring out that windmills are too heavy to lug up mountains
b) Getting the Norwegians to gift a polytechnic
c) Getting the Finns to repair the multi-fuel plant in Duhabi that they donated 15 years ago
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Fittingly symbolic, whoever had the brainwave to make the nearly-extinct Habray the mascot of the Fifth National Games. It appears the prez attended the opening ceremony only because he had been assured the People's Liberationists would not be taking part, and listened to the prime minister promising a stadium in every development zone and to "give sports a top priority in the new constitution" (wrestling, boxing, martial arts, sharp-shooting, etc).
But the Ass thinks it was mistake for the army to give the Maoists a walk over. The better trained soldiers could have easily clobbered the ex-guerrillas.
***
Remember the Singapore policeman who was kidnapped in broad daylight last week by six Maobuddies who wanted Rs 60 million and were arrested while taking possession of a suitcase full of make-believe currency notes?
Well, guess what the name of their hideout in Thamel was? Naya Nepal Guest House.
ass(at)nepalitimes.com
