Only in Nepal will activists belonging to a party that controls the Ministry of Water Resources go out into the streets to protest the shortage of water and electricity. Those UML fellows brandishing buckets should have staged a sit-in at Balkhu instead, and set fire to a few tyres if their demands were not met.
The Ass hadn't been able to figure out the reason for the latest fuel shortage, but by Jove I've got it now: existing fuel tankers are 30 years old and are time bombs on wheels. Their tanks can't be sealed properly, leading to pilferage. The supplies ministry decides to upgrade the tankers so the owners go on strike. The government invokes the essential services act, but can't open the supply lines. Surprising that people who block highways for weeks on end tolerate all this, and haven't set fire to some petrol tankers yet.
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Millions of people worldwide joined in solidarity to combat climate change by turning their power off for one hour in celebration of the second annual Earth Hour last Saturday. Floodlights were turned off at monuments from the Pyramids to the Sydney Harbour Bridge, and all this got headline treatment in the media. But the international press missed the biggest story of all: that we in Nepal are far ahead and have been celebrating Earth Day for the past eight months by not using electricity for 16 hours a day.
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Unfortunately, we squandered all the environmental browniepoints we earned for saving the planet by burning tons of diesel and petrol by being stuck in monstrous traffic jams caused by the prime ministerial motorcade headed to the airport. Even bicyclists weren't allowed to stray into the streets from Baluwatar to Gauchar. The total greenhouse gases we emitted that day must have exceeded all savings we had made since January. The more things change in this country, the more they remain the same. How is this any different to when the entire city ground to a halt when Kingji went off on state visits?
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Good thing it was a Saturday, otherwise Awesome's departure would have given us a carbon footprint double the size of Saudi Arabia. Double because the roads are going to be blocked all over again when Comrade Terrificness returns over the weekend.
But something will be different when PKD comes back: he will ride home in the brand new black bomb-proof Toyota Prado GXL that Baluwatar has ordered at the cost of 15 million bucks. Why don't the rulers of New Nepal just take a helicopter to the airport and save us all the bother, and save the environment at the same time?
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Which brings us to the question of why the Prime Minister of Nepal and his 19-member entourage broke the government's own regulation by not flying the national airline to connect to his final destination. He could have flown Nepal Airlines to Dubai and had a less roundabout link to Oslo. The Ass' back-of-envelope calculation shows that we spent $150,000 just on tickets and TADA.
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Those who went to bid the entourage farewell were surprised to see First Son Prakash in the cabin even though his name was not on the original manifest. Looks like Mom and Pop don't want to let the Dear Leader out of their sight, lest he raid the bar again and pass out on the sofa. Bad idea on the part of Sita Dahal to take mean-looking Bhojpuri khukuris to gift her pacifist Norwegian and Finnish hosts. Even if they were told it is our knational knife, it is unlikely they can use them as envelope slicers.
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More and more it is looking like the Paras Files of Singapore's The New Paper was not an elaborate April Fool hoax after all, and that the Singapore press is even more incredible than we thought it was. Up to the point where ex-CP expressed his desire to run for elections and save Nepal we could see the handiwork of the Singaporean public relations firm named Bang. But then they brought Angela Cheng in and printed a picture of her being cuddled by none other than our own Girijababu. And Angela is threatening to visit Nepal to convince Prachandababu to convince him to save the monarchy.
Even The New Paper's editorial found this too outrageous and they pulled the story out of their website. Oh yes, and Angela also claims she was the person who convinced Gyanu to give up his throne in 2006 by getting Girjau to talk to the erstwhile majesty. Fat chance.
ass(at)nepalitimes.com
