It's astounding that there are some of you out there still complaining about load shedding. You'd have thought people would have got used to it by now. And, after a while it doesn't matter anymore whether the power cuts are 12 hours a day or 16 hours.
***
Touristic Minister Comrade Yummy is on the right track. She told a meeting of NATO leaders over the weekend that Nepal should promote its darkness and market romantic candle-lit dinners to attract tourists to this medieval country.
***
To aid this new promo effort, the Ass is contributing gratis the following slogans so the NTB can start making posters: 'Get Back to the Pre-electric Age', 'Naturally Nepal Where the Nights Are So Dark You Can See The Andromeda Galaxy With Your Naked Eye', 'Once Is Not Enough If You're Against the Current'.
***
However, Comrade Parbati's plans to sell our darkness may be sabotaged by her own boss, Prime Minister Pukada who promised on Wednesday to "end load-shedding by next week". Awesome was taking "only" 15 people in his delegation to Norway and Finland and it didn't include his Computer Assistant progeny, Prakash, and a travelling secretariat made up of assorted family members. But he had dropped Nepal's ambassador to Norway from the official entourage to Norway because he had to make space for two bodyguards.
***
It seems PKD is not satisfied overflying Russia and has expressed his desire to actually set foot on Russia on the next trip. He has visited Mao's birthplace and now wants to pay homage to Stalin's nativity site and learn more of his ways from a like-minded disciple, Vladimir Spiridonovich. The fact that a portrait of Uncle Joe was there with Vladimir Ilyich and Karl Marx at the podium after the ceremony marking the formation of the Unified CPN-M the other day shows where this new party's inspiration comes from. Putin should remember that we have a prime minister who loves to fly: he doesn't skip any opportunity to go paragliding or riding an ultralight. So on his visit to Russia, they should take him to the Baikonur Cosmodrome and blast him off for a spin on a Soyuz.
***
PKD's visit to Scandinavia to inspect windfarms was postponed after he had a stormy meeting with BRB on Thursday morning. Comrade Laldhoj was totally miffed that PKD photocopy Naryankaji has nudged himself into his (BRB's) #2 position in the party after unifying with Unity Centre. The unity of the Unity Centre with the Maobaddies is not going to stop until it unites with the Unified Marxists-Leninists, from what Awesome has been saying in private to confidantes. The idea is to form a monolithic leftist party with an even bigger central committee. The Politburo already has 175 members, and this includes at least six Mr & Ms, almost the entire top brass of the PLA including the accused in the Ram Hari murder case, Comrade Bibid.
***
Now that Makunay has been inducted nicely into the CA and even plunked as chair of constitution drafting, unity would at least end the endless squabbles between the comrades in the two parties about appointments. The three-way tug-o-war has intensified between the Forumwallahs, UML and Baddies over empty ambassadorial berths. The Maoists thought they had a deal with the UML on carving out the NPC and Rastra Bank, and are ready to appoint a new governor like they appointed Pashupati high priests. But the UML is refusing to budge on its candidate, Dr Khatiwada.
***
The good citizens of Bhaktapur have the right idea. They are not taking all this darkness lying down anymore and on Wednesday they vandalised six government buildings, ransacked the post office and gheraoed the NEA demanding that Bhaktapur be declared a load-shedding free district so that its young people could cram for their exams. All this would have been a fine display of spontaneous people power had Bhaktapur not been the district with the highest electricity theft rate in the country,being far ahead of even stalwarts like Rupendehi and Rautahat. So let me get this right: Bhaktapurians want power 24 hours a day but they don't want to pay for it. We should hand over the government to Nemakipa.
ass(at)nepalitimes.com
