The Baddies-led government is leaving no stone unturned to restore a semblance of normalcy to this nation by clearing squatters from the Bagmati, evicting hawkers from the sidewalks, closing down the Duty Free shops at the airport and clamping down those trying to sneak in an extra bottle of booze through customs.
The Dept of Customs has proudly announced that it seized 15 bottles of Black Label, 52 bottles of Red Label and another 16 assorted brands, including Old Smuggler, over the Dasain holidays. We don't know what happened to the confiscated scotch, but having seen some senior comrades on a strict liquid diet over the festival period, it is sure getting difficult to distinguish between Farmer Jones and Comrade Napoleon.
Nepali workers coming home from the Gulf for Dasain were all surprised to see that the Customs was on Red Alert in the Red Channel to seize Red Labels. One distraught passenger drank down half a bottle of whiskey, preferring to consume it right there and then rather than give it to the customs guy to take home. Another was so angry he shattered his bottle on the floor. BRB has an uphill battle raising revenue to balance his budget.
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So, when whiskey confiscation didn't work, the Finance Ministry ordered the closure of the Airport Duty Free. And it has just printed new Customs Declaration Forms for arriving passengers (in appropriately pink paper this time) which lists the consumable and non-consumable items that can be brought into the country without having to pay duty:
* Liquor up to 1.15 litres or 12 cans of beer
* Video Camera or Steel (sic) Camera 1 piece l Perambulator 1 piece
* Tricycle 1 piece
* Used Fountain Pen, Ball Pen 1 piece each
* Fishing Rod 1 piece
Now we know Comrade Baburam is really serious about raising revenue for his budget so he can afford the handouts for Baddie cadres. The way he's going to do it is to come down hard on hapless tourists who try to smuggle in more than one tricycle or a couple of perambulators to sell in Kathmandu's black market. And it's a revelation to the Ass that fishing rods were such a hot item.
Warning to tourists: If you are trying to smuggle in more than one fountain pen or ball point pen, beware, Nepal's vigilant customs officials are ready to pounce on you.
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As if we didn't have enough post-Dasain mad tea parties in this country, it looks like the Maobuddies are also threatening their own bourgeois tea party in the near future. Of all the gatherings this week, the kangresi tea party took the cake for sheer bad management and chaotic conditions.
It's really true, you can judge a party by its tea party. No wonder the NC can't govern this country, it can't even organise a tea party without its Party President being nearly trampled in a stampede.
Girjau was waving his index finger saying he'd defend democracy and press freedom even if he had to go down doing it, when he was very nearly knocked down because of sheer crush of people trying to catch a glimpse of him shake hands with the Fierce One. That was when he was heard telling his aides: "Get those journalists out of here!"
Overheard at the eh-maley chiapan: "We had the chia, where is the pan?"
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At the rate the Girija-Prachanda love fest is going, the two will be smooching in public one of these days. What is the world coming to?
America is going socialist, nationalising banks, while our Maoist Finance Minister is attending the IMF meeting to declare his party's capitalist free market orientation and intention to privatise public sector enterprises. Bhattarai
even let it slip that his party would be jettisoning the 'M' in CPN-M after its general convention next month. Question then arises: why did we need a war?
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The Ass has stopped buying sukuti in KTM after receiving intelligence from relatives in Nepalganj that dried meat suppliers there are slaughtering donkeys and elderly tanga ponies to meet the capital's insatiable demand for meat. We're turning into a nation of cannibals.
ass(at)nepalitimes.com
