Nepali Times
The land of international intercourse


Just when you thought he couldn't be more dim-witted after banning night clubs and cyber cafes, unelected Home Minister Ban Dev has told the people of Pokhara that he wants to turn that city into a Free Sex Zone for foreigners.

No, Comrade Leftist God wasn't being misquoted, or quoted out of context, he actually wants Pokhara to be a "free sex" tourism destination for foreigners. And just like the casinos, only tourists will be allowed to partake in the fun and frolic, Nepali citizens will not be allowed into Pokhara's red light district as customers, only as sex workers. Time for NTB to get cracking with catchy slogans: 'Screw in Nepal, Once Is Not Enough', 'NEPAL: The Land of International Intercourse', or even 'Go Get a Poke in Pokhara'.


In his drive to crack down on dirty dancing and cyber porn, Kam Dev seems to have completely overlooked the trafficking of Nepali women to Indian brothels and the red-light districts in Sore Khutte that are now doing a roaring business because there is nowhere for bar hoppers to go after 11 at night.


However, the Ass has nothing but praise for Fearsome's terrific performance in New York. He even managed to give the Secret Service the slip after taking the ferry back from the Statue of Liberty to take the Number 1 subway uptown to the Grand Hyatt. He must miss being underground.

Glad to see, though, he took our advice on the wardrobe and to tell the yanks what they want to hear. Although he should go easy on the Brylcream, the greasy look makes him look, well, oily. And then there is the other small matter of taking the entire family along on these trips. At a presser on return, the Terrific One was quizzed on his son Prakash accompanying him everywhere he goes. Mummy Sita had already begun to reply to that one, when Daddy motioned her to keep quiet and clarified that the First Son was the prime ministerial computer assistant.

Fair enough, but eyebrows are now being raised even within the Maobaddies about sonny boy Prakash, nephew Samir having a secretarial position in Baluwatar, daughter Ganga made a section officer, elder daughter Renu being a CA member on the PR list and brother Narayan a member of the CA from Chitwan. This must be how dynasties are born.


Awesome's luggage seems to be jinxed. Heads nearly rolled when his checked-in baggage with valuable documents was lost on the RA return flight from Delhi last month. And this time, it looks like Sita's overstuffed Delsey burst open somewhere between JFK, Frankfurt, Bangkok and Kathmandu leaving a trail of clothing and other belongings in aircraft cargo holds spanning continents.


Ex-king Gyan went on a pilgrimage to sacrifice pancha bali in Kamakshya after being enthroned. Girijau went to Tirupathi. So it's no big deal that Comrade Terrifying made sure he made time for a side-trip during the Olympics for a darshan of Mr Zedong's birthplace in Shaoshan and dhogo the Maosoleum in Beijing. And when it looked like Angela Merkel couldn't find time to see him in Frankfurt last week, Awesome made a three-hour dash for Traier, the birthplace of Karl Marx. And if there is a visit to Russia soon, even the war in Georgia may not prevent Lotus Flower from expressing a desire to visit the birthplace of Stalin in Gori.

It's a good thing our senior officials are busy traveling all over the world. The YCL and the Youth Force chieftains found themselves on the same junket to South Africa last month, they drank together, they visited the Apartheid Museum together. It may not be connected, but there were fewer reports of YCL vs YF clashes after the trip.

Before jetting off to the US next week, BRB at gostis around town has been reciting Sanskrit slokas (after banning Sanskrit and bombing Sanskrit schools during the war). Deb Gurung paid a pilgrimage to Sarnath, where the Buddha attained enlightenment. And when PLA Commander Pasang sprinkled holy water from the Ganges on his head in Banaras last week, Hridayesh Tripathi couldn't help telling the panda: "He needs to wash off his sins."


(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)