The Rt Hon'ble Prime Minister Pukada is in the Big Apple with the First Lady, First Son, First Dotter, First Son-in-law and First Adviser Hari Thapa. Foreigner Minister Uppud is in Denmark. Financial Minister BRB is off to the US next week. Tourist Minister Yummy is in the UK. Ram Bahadur is in China and Krishna Bahadur is in DPRK. Youthful Minister Gopalcha is in Azerbaijan of all places, while Reconstructive Minister Kirati is in Hong Kong. Lawful Minister Deb and Agro Minister JP are both in India. The prez is in Janakpur.

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With no one around to crack the whip, little wonder that the justices have joined strippers and buffalo-eaters to go on the war path on Kathmandu's streets this week. Before stirring the hornets' nest by accusing the Supreme Court of corruption, Barman Mainali should've first checked the Tranparency International report out Monday which showed Nepal has moved up from 131st most corrupt country in the world to 121st most corrupt, overtaking countries like Turkmenistan and Tonga. Even the two ministers left behind in Kathmandu were at each other's throats last Saturday. Kathmandales have been speculating about the shouting match between BRB and BDG at the airport after seeing the Boss off the other day. Rumours have it that Jit Bahadur thinks Leftist God deliberately stoked the protests in Hanuman Dhoka and accused him of not being tough enough in quelling the riots. It's true, just when the demos were dying down, Bum Dev's cops dismantled the lingo, fuelling more anger. BRB should have just listened to his Asan-born wife and not cut the water buffalo decapitation allowance at Indra Jatra.

The finance minister sprung to the defence of bureaucrats who helped him with the budget at the press conference, but privately to advisers he has expressed misgivings about entire chunks of the budget speech that went missing from the final text before he was due to read it to parliament.

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Delayed intelligence has just been transmitted to this donkey's earpiece that Mr & Ms Awesome were gifted a double bed by the Chinese during his Olympics visit. Initially, yours truly wondered why a bed, only to realise that before becoming PM, Comrade Terrible used to meet foreign spooks in his bedroom in Naya Bajar. The dips must have seen the pyjama-clad prime minister-designate's primitive sleeping quarters and decided that it was in Nepal's national interest that the head of government get a good night's sleep. A word of caution, though, PMji: better sweep the bed for bugs. When they inspected the soon-to-be Naryanhiti Museum last week, Chabilal and Sita noticed the king-sized double bed and exchanged glances when they realised Gyanu and Komal's bed was much bigger than theirs.

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While in Delhi, it seems Comrade Terrifying sought out two of India's most-noted godmen, Comrade Ram Dev and Sri Tin Ravi Shankar. The abdominal diaphragm exercises they taught him will have stood him in good stead when he met Dubya in New York on Tuesday, and a transcript of their conversation has just been made available to the Ass. Excerpts:
Bush: How's things in Tibet?
Pukada: I'm from Nepal, it's Dalai who is from Tibet.
Bush: No kiddin'.
Pukada: Comrade President, I've brought with me here four spiral-bound volumes of the complete English translation of our government's Policies and Programs announced last week.
Bush: Wow. That's great!
Pukada: And here is a bronze statue of the Buddha for you as a token of my deep appreciation of your success in spreading the sweet dream of American imperialism all over the world.
Bush: Thanks, Dalai.
Pukada: In exchange, could you try to keep us on your terrorism blacklist? It gives us notoriety and everyone treats us with respect.
Bush: Sure thing, no problem. And say hi to the brave people of Tibet for me, will ya?

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This week's New Name Contest winner is Mr Singh for turning Mahendra Highway into Mahindra & Mahindra Highway.

ass(at)nepalitimes.com