So, the self-appointed traffic czar Baba-san is back with a bang. The man is one determined dude. While he was away, all his centerline concrete blocks were pulverised by colliding motorcycles, others have been charred by student groups protesting the fuel price hike, and yet the former Osaka traffic cop doesn't give up on his one-man mission to save Kathmandu's streets from chaos. At the very least, give the man a medal for trying. But Baba underestimates the Nepali capacity for anarchy. The only way can instill some discipline at the Jamal intersection is if we make him executive president and commander-in-chief with shoot-at-sight orders.
***
Seems like in this country we are cursed to live in never-ending excitement. You solve one problem and another one pops up, you resolve that and another agitated group starts agitating.
No sooner had the three parties agreed on the fifth amendment after a two-month delay and got ready to push the bill through the assembly, the Madhesi brothers began to gherao the rostrum and paralysed the assembly for two weeks. It seems the kangresis had a hand in uksaoing the brothers as a delaying tactic to get the baddies to agree to make Koiralo prez. Some talmel seems to have been done, cos the Madhesis called off their daily charade of treating the aisles of the CA like Ratna Park.
Then it was the turn of the Tharuhats, who want no truck with the Madhesis, and have therefore brought 22 Tarai districts to a grinding halt this week. It may take another couple of months to get that sorted out, but the Muslims are also murmuring about being lumped together with Madhesis. The Sherpas may soon announce a chukka jam at Base Camp unless their autonomy demand is met. The Dalits have stepped up their protests, and so have the Group of 8 ethnic groups still not represented in the CA. The government's negotiation strategy is to grant everyone autonomy automatically, but unless Nepal immediately embarks on a campaign of territorial expansion, we're going to run out of room for all the new federal autonomous regions. And even that won't be the end of it. Chhetris are sure to come up with a demand for a Chhetri Chhetra, and the Bahun Liberation Front will have no option but to go underground.
***
Upendra Yadav speaking in Hindi from the assembly pulpit on Wednesday may have thrilled his compatriots down in the plains, but the man should know this is completely counter-productive. Televised live nationwide, that one speech did more to unite all Gurungs, Tamangs, Bahuns, Newars, Chhetris, Thakuris than anything the Chure Bhabars and
Janjatis have ever done with their sit-ins. No one would've minded if it was Maithili.
***
The good news is a government may formed. Bad news: it make take till next yer. That is why Gyanu must be looking down from Nagarjun and laughing his head off. The ex-king is taking his commoner status seriously, it seems. There was a 2 km queue outside the gate to wish him happy birthday on Monday, but he refused to let them in because Nagarjun is government property. But he did take a call from the PM and had a man-to-man chat on the hotline.
***
The UML ministers resigned nearly three months ago after their party's humiliating defeat in the elections, but they are still living comfortably at their official quarters and commuting to work in official flag-waving cars. The five Maoist ministers also resigned, but are merrily bhasan garo-ing away at city functions and odao-ing dossalahs and stuff. Gyanu resigned and left Narayanhiti and gave up his official Jaguar and his Super Puma, yet the prime minister resigned two weeks ago and he is still sitting tight in Baluwatar. Need the Ass say more?
***
The winners of the New Name Contest this week both pertain to garbage. Tied in first place are Suvekchya from TC who wants Ratna Park renamed Rotten Park and Vijay in UK who has changed Phora Darbar into Phohor Darbar.
New Name Contest entries: ass(at)nepalitimes.com
