Kind of appropriate, isn't it, that if you are voting ultra-left in this election, you rubber stamp the swastika on the hammer and sickle. After all, it is getting difficult to tell the difference between fascism and what passes off as Marxism-Leninsim-Stalinism-Maoism-(and last but not least)-Prachanda Path in this country.

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Three days after the seven-minus-one political parties got together at Baluwatar to shake hands and agree to make campaigning peaceful (not that they'd agreed earlier to make it violent) there has been an escalation in the level of election-related atrocities. Maybe they should have just not met and left things as they were. Every time these parties try to fix anything they wreck it. The Ass' unsolicited advice to our leaders is: don't do anything. That way there is less of a chance you will mess things up.

The way it's going, Maoist cadre who have the pulse of the voters seem to have realised that there is no way they are going to win. So they have unleashed a deliberate nationwide campaign to disrupt voting and force the cancellation of elections. The only person who will benefit from this of course is our own king-not-for-too-much-longer-ji. Which makes one think, are the two in cahoots?

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The reason for the upsurge in Maoist mayhem is that they want to pressure the other parties to at least give them some seats so it won't look like they have been completely wiped out. The UML and the NC have tried to ensure that at least the main Maoist leaders will win one seat each, but they aren't about to hand over on a platter 100 seats in an elected assembly to the baddies.

Because they aren't getting what they want, the comrades are implementing their time-tested modus operandi of blackmailing everyone by threatening to go back to the jungles if they don't get their wish. In fact Forest Minister Matrika Yadav has already gone back to the jungle once.

Why was Chabilal Baje so paranoid in his Base Area in Rolpa this week? He was there to campaign, but barely ventured out of Hotel Samjhana in Libang despite his 45-strong security detail. And when he did go out the chairman had to be carried piggyback across a river by a Whole Timer so he wouldn't get his feet wet. He then slipped into one of the Maoist camps, and people who wanted to see him had to line up to get frisked as if they were seeking a royal audience.

All this spotlight on politics and elections is great for those who are making hay as the sun shines. Away from it all, they're raking it in at the airport cargo shed, the Tatopani Bhansar, and all along the Indian border. Our customs chaps in Birganj start boozing at breakfast because there is so much free drink courtesy businessmen lubricating the state machinery to get their goods across without hassles. And that's just the small fishies.

The Big Fish are stashing it away by the karods (IC not NC) on hydropower deals and the Ass has it on good authority that there is a sort of partnership between a former First Lady and current First Dotter to demarcate their spheres of influence between hydropower and telecom. The cash register just keeps tinkling.

ass(at)nepalitimes.com