Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
Nefarious netas

ASS


So the petrol queues have started again. Let me guess. We haven't paid our bills.
And the garbage is piling up. The Bagmati is beginning to waft its aroma into the Maternity Hospital once more. Loadshedding has started and will go up to 14 hours a week this winter. And the Republic of Nepal Airlines Corporation (RONAC) is going to be planeless again in December.

At the rate our loktantrick seven-party sarkar is showing its true mettle this Ass (and a lot of other asses in this country) is beginning to think, hey, things weren't so bad under a ruthless royal feudal dictator after all. Now that he's got at least another six months in the palace because the seven parties can't get their act together to hold elections, all kingji has to do is sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

.....

The real story at Loyal Nepal Airlines (LOLA) is that the emergency board meeting on Saturday will discuss an ultimatum by pilots fed up with flying for an airline that has two 757s but only three engines. After they found there was no way they could pocket kickbacks on a major plane purchase because of parliamentary oversight, airline management in cahoots with powerful neo-royal relatives, is trying to ground both of LOLA's jets in Brunei so they can wet lease another plane and cream the deal by over-invoicing the rental rate. Alert readers will instantly recognise this modus operandi from the Dhamija, Lauda and China Southwest deals. What do you expect when exactly the same old nefarious netas who were in charge seven years ago are back on the saddle? Plus c'est la meme chose, plus ?a change.

.....

Comrade Lotus Flower is out west doing what he does best: delivering fiery speeches hinting that Comrade Makunay will be prime minister and himself president if the kangresis don't follow the parliament's resolutions. Trouble is most district newspapers are boycotting Maobaddie news, so the public never got to read these pearls of wisdom.

Just as well for His Awesomeness that there was a media blackout because he went on to say something even more asinine: the YCL will investigate the murderers of journalist Birendra Sah. Wait a minute, isn't that like getting the Ass to guard the haystack.

.....

Alert to rumours of suspicious helicopter movements near Tokha and Panchkhal, Baluwatar pulled the plug over Dasain on COAS Katuwal's visit to Honolulu on a US Pacific Command confab. Chief Sa'b got so bored sitting at home he brought together some of his top trusted jarsaps to Bhadrakali to discuss possible threats to national security, evaluate scenarios and plot responses.

It looks like the brass wants to be ready should a situation a la Pakistan or Bangladesh arise. Some of the generals even analysed the lessons learnt from the February First coup and how mistakes could be avoided next time round, if there is a next time.

ass@nepalitimes.com


LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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