The faulting and the defaulting captains of our industry are not known for their sense of humour. Because of bandas, forced donations and agitating labour unions-the three headaches of New Corporate Nepal - they only complain about the growing size of their financial tumor. But this Gai Jatra week allows all to decode what's happening in Nepal so that there's learning about how to talk the jargon of New Nepal with relevant stakeholders.

Here, then, is an extract of a glossary - custom-made for our corporate busybodies.

Chha.lang : A \'can do\' word, this refers to the scientifically proven process whereby a monkey who builds neither his house nor lets others build theirs becomes a double-tongued Homo comradus overnight. Chhalang, with Indo-European roots, comes from the marriage of chhal and angst. Forget slow and steady hard work. Forget iterative learning from mistakes. With force, violence, and threats, you can chhalang your way to anything you want in New Nepal.

Feudal mindset: What you do not have, but those who disagree with you or your party display. You can use this phrase as an excuse for everything that went wrong in Old Nepal.

Gana.tan.tra: In the absence of any due legal process, this is a method to replace one despot with a few quarreling warlords, with each asking, "what's in it for me?"

Kathmandu elites: Those who have built fancy new houses and bought new cars in Kathmandu in the last 10 years.

King G: The face which, when put on magazine covers, reduces newsstand sales! Everyone's favourite punching bag.

Labour unions (revolutionary): Underpaid huddled masses who, because of their sheer numbers, will not rest until you become as poor and desperate as they are.

Mao.badi: Enlightened souls who have seen the Last Truth about the nature of man in this universe, and thus have no desire to find out anything new that might contradict what they know for sure.

Raja.badi: Folks you do not like for whatever reason in Nepal and among Nepalis. Calling someone, in private or public, a rajabadi is the easiest way to destroy their reputation, authenticate your own loktantrik credentials while silencing discussions on topics you do not like.

Sa.manta: Your wife's best friend's husband who makes more money than you do. It does not matter how that guy earns his salary. That he has visibly more than you do makes him a samanta. For example, a banker who makes 95 lakhs a year is a samanta in the eyes of a loan officer who earns a piddling 30 lakhs. And so it goes, up and down and left and right in our Nepali societies to label all your friends and enemies in Nepal.

Sa.manta.bad: A samanta is always bad. This weighty word refers to the lifestyle led by a samanta's family using its own money. Children attending Kathmandu's most expensive schools? Do you take vacations in the Maldives? Own houses in Baneswor, Gwarko, Sunakothi and Syangja? All remnants of samantabad! The best way to be a certified anti-samantabad is to enjoy the same lifestyle and more after getting a clean bill of moral health from the CIAA.

Sam.bhidan Sab.ha: The formal name the present parliament with the same members is going to have in a few months. Think about this: Why go through the song-and-dance routine of having elections when appointments of one's MPs have worked so well to decide everything that the Sabha was originally meant for?

Truth & Reconciliation: The truth is that the poor, in large numbers, did the dying in the 10-year-old civil war, and the survivors, now in power, reconcile with that fact, while going about their lives by promising more violence if their wishes are not met.