The great American philosopher, Spiderman, once said during an unguarded moment: "With absolute power comes absolute responsibility." We couldn't have put it better ourselves.
Being members of the fourth estate it behooves us to respect and follow Spidey's wisdom and exercise utmost restraint while going about our daily businesses and ask the All Mighty to forgive us our press passes.
This is why it pains us to watch colleagues with whom we share our present predicament unnecessarily rocking the boat and showing off. If I may play the devil's ombudsman here for a moment, allow me to apologise to the movers and shakers of the land for the disgraceful and rash behaviour of some of our peers over the past two months. It's inexcusable that they haven't yet learnt to toe the line like some of us veterans from the Panchayat era. Who do they think they are, the great American investigative journalist, Clark Kent?
By way of illustration, I would like to point out a few items of shameful news that have appeared in the pages our national broadsheets that may demoralise the civil service, not that they aren't thoroughly demoralised already. How are objectionable items of news such as these even allowed to see the light of day?
Nepal an 'Open Prison': Minister
BY A JAILED SCRIBE
KATHMANDU - In a significant development in Nepali criminal jurisprudence, the government today adopted the concept of 'open prison' by amending the Prison Act 1962 to give a chance for all citizens to reform and immediately stop making asses of themselves.
As per changed legal provisions, there will be no need for prisons since the whole country will serve more or less as a correctional facility in which mobiles are not allowed. The ordinance, which was issued to amend the 1962 Act was published in the Nepal Gazette today, and goes into immediate effect.
Inaugurating the program today was the Minister of Jungles who ceremonially unlocked the gates of Nakkhu and allowed all detainees to venture out into our nation's open prison system, but only after they handed back their cell phones. "They won't need them where they are going," he told mediapersons.
The ordinance also states that those convicted for heinous crimes will have the choice of either being remanded under house arrest or cardiac arrest, or both.
Nepal Not Sudan: UN
NEW YORK-In what foreign policy analysts said was a major victory for Nepal, the United Nations today announced that the situation in Sudan was "somewhat worse" than in the landlocked Himalayan kingdom.
"This is a proud moment for our country that we avoided being lumped together with Sudan, Burma and Turkmenistan by the skin of our teeth," said the leader of the Nepali delegation, "if it hadn't been for our allies Cuba, Zimbabwe and Rwanda who supported us we may well have been voted into the axis of evil."
Awardees Awarded Awards
BY OUR MULTI-AWARD WINNING CORRESPONDENT
BIRATNAGAR-Yet more awards were awarded to awardees today as the award-giving epidemic continued unabated throughout the kingdom without let or hindrance despite the emergency situation, according to bureau reports.
However, due to pandemonium in the auditorium during the award-winning ceremony it wasn't clear till press time who the award winners were and for what specific accomplishments they were being awarded plaques and shawls. Speaking at the awards ceremony here today, the Minister for Interior Decorations said Nepal was committed to meet the millennium target of attaining Awards for All by 2015.
