Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
SPAM is GON

ASS


That's with our leaders that they sneak off to India at the slightest excuse? And when they do, they do a 180 degree turn on what they were saying before
they went.

Chairman Shock and Awe is having an increasingly tough time controlling cadre who thrash CDOs and then declare indefinite district bunds demanding the CDOs apologise. Awesome also can\'t seem to tone down anti-Indian rhetoric from a radical fringe of the party lead by Comrade Cloud & Co. So, the chairman was summoned by powers-that-be across the border and he air-dashed to Bhadrapur and and slinked across the Mechi Bridge in the darkness to Siliguri to return early next morning.

Why the hush-hush and giving the slip to his own security detail to vanish across the border? The Ass mole in Kakarbita has supplied intelligence that Comrade \'Wherever-Mary-Went-the-Lamb-Was-Sure-To-Go\' Baburam and Comrade Pratik were in the entourage. What the mole wasn't able to find out was who the camaraderie met in Siliguri. (Ass\' Mental Note: Sack Mole). Comrade Lal Dhoj, who till last week had been insisting that his party would soon be pushing the eject button from the govt, decided after his Siliguri sleepover to stay put.

Whoever they met, RIM or RAW, it must have been someone really powerful to make Ideologue-in-Chief Babuji eat his words.

.....

One wonders why the Baddies have to go to India at all since Mohamad has been coming to the mountain. There have been a slew of visits by Indian bigwigs to Nepal in the past few weeks. Shyam Saran came through in transit from Oslo to Delhi last month, close on his heels was over-rated Nepalwatcher Prof Muni, then the architect of the peace process Sitaram Yechuri himself stopped by and even the BJP's Yashwant Sinha. (By the way, our vibrant free press doesn\'t seem to be able to tell the difference between Yashwant and the semi-royal ex-minister Jaswant.) The other thing puzzling the Ass is why Yechuri Sa\'b keeps coming here when he already has his party's permanent representative serving as a parallel Indian ambassador.

.....

Those who accuse SPAM (Seven Parties And Maoists) of inaction over the past four months of its existence are just being cynical about GON (Government of Nepal). The non-government of Nepal actually deserves medals for saving money by:

. Dropping 'Royal' from Nepal Airlines and cancelling all international flights, saving the airline tons of money in fuel bills
.Fighting over kickbacks on a new jets and stalling purchase, so NAC saves even more money
. Not appointing 11 ambassadors to various countries and saving Sital Nibas lots of hard currency that it can squander on Comrade Sahana\'s sight-seeing of the Pyramids
. Allowing the tarai to burn so constituent assembly can't be held and thus saving the country at least Rs 4 billion
. Keeping the East-West Highway blocked means no gas-guzzling trucks and buses burning expensive diesel
. Stalling decision on licenses for Melamchi and all other hydropower projects, so if we don\'t build we don\'t spend
. Not paying IOC for imported petroleum and saving Indian currency

.....

Comrade Hitman is at it again, hitting us with more requests for donations. The latest is a letter in the Mao Buddy letter head that goes: 'Gentlemen: Our glorious and proud party the CPN-Maoist is holding the Fifth Extended Convention of its Central Committee in Kathmandu soon. For this, we expect voluntary economic assistance from you of the amount ............. (in words) ........ (and no more). Yours sincerely, Hitman Sakya, in-charge Capital Regional Bureau.

.....

Kingji's astrological birthday was held recently at Nirmal Nibas with businessmen, bankers, singers, comedians and even media (alas, not Ass) attending. The ex-majesty excuded confidence and actually told people he was looking forward to the constituent assembly elections so the country could come out of its indecisive phase. Observed shaking hands with the king was our very own Yubaraj. No, not the clown prince, the editor.

ass@nepalitimes.com



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


ADVERTISEMENT









himalkhabar.com            

NEPALI TIMES IS A PUBLICATION OF HIMALMEDIA PRIVATE LIMITED | ABOUT US | ADVERTISE | SUBSCRIPTION | PRIVACY POLICY | TERMS OF USE | CONTACT