Everyone knows that Tuesday?s sudden bund had nothing to do with ambassadorships, it was about letting off steam by allowing ex-guerrillas with time on their hands to light some tyres and keep warm.
The Maobaddies knew about the lineup of inept candidates the NC and UML had put together as potential plenipotentiaries, so they just wanted their own inept candidates included as well. So the whole country had to be bunned. If Manisha?s aunt can be ambassador to India, they reasoned, there is no reason why BB?s wife can?t be sent off to DC. The Mao-ites have a point.
When His Fierceness confronted Girija Bir Bickram about designating some underground armed rebels as ambassadors as well, Girijababu is reported to have said: ?Prachandaji, that?s why I left France for you.?
Masterstroke. France is a good start, after all that is where a revolution first started to devour its own children. But we should have also set aside The People?s Democratic Junta of Myanmar for the comrades so that the Loyal Nepali Ambassador to SLORC could go back to the jungles in Pyinmana.
Confronted with more party aspirants for ambassadorships than we had countries with embassies in them, last week the cabinet decided to add three more points: Australia, Denmark and ROK. Not that anyone did, but if they had asked the Ass, he?d have highly recommended also opening new embassies in Pyongyang, Havana, Harare, and Almaty?four dictatorships where our comrades would feel perfectly at home. That way His Excellency Comrade Rohit would have finally made it to DPRK. 
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The all night session at Baluwatar last week before the interim constitution was signed essentially boiled down to a tug-o-war between the King and the Cow.One side was pitching His Majesty as national animal while the other wanted the cow as head of state. No, seriously, the eight party candidates were falling asleep all over the place some even on the tables of the ?Blue Room?, so named because of its garishly painted walls not because an ex-PM watched racy movies in them. One of the few people still awake in the wee hours, as it were, was Baburam who diligently sat next to the computer guy inputting stuff while the rest were beyond caring. No wonder the interim constitution is sprinkled with jargon like ?feudal land mafia? and ?democratic centralism?.?????
The Seven Dwarves were in a desperate hurry to finish the job last week because they didn?t want the new constitution to be signed on Poush 1, the infamous anniversary of Mahendra?s famous putsch in 1960. When it looked like in was going to be Poush 1 after all, some extra-sensitive leaders even wanted to backdate the signatures.The donkey?s mole tells him no one wants berths in the interim cabinet. The seven parties have set aside the slot for Minister for Supplies for the Maoists. The reason: one of the first things the interim government will have to do is raise petroleum prices again.
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The delay in the UN arriving for arms monitoring, the Ass has reliably learnt, is caused by the Christmas and New Year holidays in New York. Even if a Third World war were to break out tomorrow, the Security Council would not be able to meet before 3 January. With Kathmandu-based peacekeepers either in Goa, Koh Samui or home for the holidays, and the 110 extra monitors only due on 15 January the question is: what will happen to arms management in the meantime?
One thing we can cheer in this jolly season is that despite the delay in management of arms, at last we now have a coat of arms.
