For a country with the world's most advanced calendar (we are 57 years ahead of our nearest rival) and a nation with the tallest bonsai on earth (at the Royal Botanical Gardens in Godavari) and a rejuvenated parliament with the oldest Young Turks (NC central committee members have to be at least 70 years of age to qualify for young turkhood) it is no wonder that we have more revolutions per minute than any other country.

The regime that was just changed told us a lot of lies. But it was right when it said one thing: that during its tenure there was complete freedom of speech. (It's just that there was no freedom after speech.)

So, now that we have once more earned ourselves the right to be completely partisan, speak utter and absolute nonsense without fear of some draconian ordinance or other making its ugly presence felt, let me just say that this is not the time to be cynical and poke fun at the honourable members who have fought long and hard to revive the august house.

Since history is written by the victorious and a satire column is history in a hurry, I pledge that henceforth from this week not to indulge in gratuitous cynicism or unprovoked lampooning unless it is of the losing side. We shall cheer when the speaker is sacked, we will sing hosannahs of all crooks as long as they are on our side. We will also refrain from ridiculing all those who helped restore democracy by sitting on the fence till they figured out which way the wind was blowing.

Still, it is also our heartfelt request to all honourable members that they declare a state of urgency, suspend all floor-crossing, horse-trading, general pandemonium, table throwing, microphone uprooting, fisticuffs in the back benches and three-month boycotts of parliament on Friday. Such fun and games that were the hallmark of our vibrant and rambunctious democracy till 2002 can resume early next week. Think you can wait that long?

Some people are under the impression that the royal climbdown was triggered by pro-democracy protests on the streets. Um, not exactly. Actually it was pressure building up from the Kathmandu's upper crust who were getting sick and tired of staying at home for three weeks without having their blackheads squeezed by professional beauticians. Others suffered severe withdrawal symptoms from not being able to frequent their favourite nightspots, and the strain was beginning to tell. Then there were those who couldn't tear around town at breakneck speed in their Harley Davidsons and enter discos with guns blazing. All these inconveniences were putting pressure for regime change.

Members of the council of ministers were also getting a tad impatient because they weren't able to inaugurate any seminars and give speeches from the podium for over a month. Now that normalcy has been restored these activities can resume, and we have to extend a vote of thanks for all those who suffered prolonged disruptions in day-to-day lives. We wouldn't be where we are today without their active support.

Finally, now that the king is ceremonial we'll have to come up with a whole lot of ceremonies to keep him busy. But first, he needs to sack the royal astrologer.