This is an excellent idea. Bored passengers waiting for delayed flights will have something to do and tourists can get things off their chests so they don't go back with a bad impression. The feedback will help Nepal's tourism industry to fine tune its product range, upgrade services, streamline procedures, find out where we still don't charge entry fees so we can start doing so, and it will bring constructive suggestions about upgrading our tourist services which we can then completely ignore.
To start with, tourists will be required to mandatorily pay $5 for taking the trouble to fill out this form. The money will be used to print more questionnaires for future feedback. If there are 1 million tourists next year, that means Nepal will earn $5 million from questionnaires alone. Please be so kind as to take a few moments of your time to complete this short survey. The information you provide will be held in strictest confidence, unless of course you decide to be nasty in which case we will put your photo on the Nepal government's Facebook page and draw a moustache over it. Ready?
1. Did you find Nepal up to your expectations?
Better than expectations
Worse than expectations
What do you expect me to say?
2. If you were looking for Nirvana in Nepal, did you find it?
Yes
No
Om
3. What was the condition of the public toilets at the airport?
Excellent
Cured my sinus
Fainted twice
4. Was your privacy respected?
Go away
No, I don't want to buy another bloody khukuri
You want to see my khukuri?
5. What is your opinion of the promo ads about Nepal in your country?
Lies
Damn lies
Statistics
6. Which of the following did you expect to see during your visit versus what you actually saw?
Expected to see | Actually saw |
Gorillas | Guerrillas |
Gurkhas | Airport friskers |
Gardens | Garbage |
Abominable snowmen | Abominable men |
Yak | Yak & Yeti |
Treks | Trax |
Paradise | Paragliding |
7. How do you rate our overall service?
Compared to where?
You really want to know?
Let's just say it was a memorable trip
8. Was the visa officer at the airport courteous?
You're joking, right?
$50 minus $35 is $15, not $5
He was, I wasn't
9. Who will you recommend Nepal to:
Friend
Foe
Friend and foe alike
10. If one more guy asks you to pay Rs 800 to enter a Darbar Square, you will:
Strangle him with your bare hands in broad daylight
Embrace him tightly and execute a Heimlich Maneouvre so he regurgitates his lunch
Drop verbal hints about his canine motherhood
Show him the khukuri you bought