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PKD is now getting so impatient to remove his nemesis, BRB, from prime ministership that he is egging kangresi netas to make a power grab with a non-confidant vote. Awesome's left-hand-man is Supply Minister Comrade "Red Hair" Butt, who is deliberately prolonging the fuel crisis to make BRB look bad. Red Hair is also supporting PKD's bid for directly elected presidentship by appeasing the Bahun-Chhetri vote bank by threatening to do the unthinkable: wear daura-suruwal-topi to work. But it gets even better: Comrade Butt has called for a far-western bund on Friday to protest the SRC report, the First Minister Ever to Call a Bund. The Tharus of the far west are organising their own counter-bund next week. Ethnicity-based federalism is getting to be a can of worms inside a Pandora's box for the Baddies.
While eavesdropping on the parliamentary committee hearings on new ambassadorships, the mule's mole heard an ambassador designate being asked about the population and per capita income of the country he was being assigned to. His answer: "How should I know? I've never been there." Needless to say, his ambassadorship was approved. Meanwhile, Ram "Comrade Partha" Karki is now getting disheartened about the Indians dragging their feet on his agremo. Rumours are Delhi is displeased with his past association with Gorkhaland and his role in smuggling arms across the eastern front during the war.
Methot it was only PKD who had foot-in-mouth disease, but it looks like BRB is equally prone to involuntarily blurting out what he shouldn't. After boasting that he "gambled" on BIPPA, he told a bunch of hacks invited to Balu Water recently that Nepal may be "merged" into India or China. The PMO first said the remarks were "off the record". (Can a head of government speaking to a dozen Nepali editors ever be off the record?) Anyway, after all hell broke loose the PM denied ever having said "merged", then he backtracked and said he had actually said "submerged". This was greeted by even more cackling laughter from the galleries. Suggestion to the PM: he should now clarify he actually said "emerged".
Time for a brief recap: A rebel force that kills a whole lot of people in cold blood is arm-twisted by the very people down south who gave them refuge for ten years to sign a peace deal. They hoodwink UNMIN and inflate their numbers in the cantonments, and UNMIN winks back. The senior guerrillas are recruited into the YCL. With threats of returning to war, the Baddies drag on the demobilisation process (euphemistically called "integration"). Over four years, they take a 40% cut on the allowances of their own fighters, and pocket 100% of those who are missing. Finally, with their own prime minister and finance minister in place, they award themselves Rs 5 billion from state coffers to those opting for golden handshakes, but commanders demand 40% from the pay cheques, saying it is party policy. Some fighters flee the cantonments with their a/c payee cheques seeking protection from the police, the very people they were butchering till five years ago. Then the paramilitary YCL raise hell, padlocking party offices, carjacking SUVs belonging to Central Committee members (vehicles which they themselves stole during the war) and cutting down trees to blockade towns to demand from their mother party the same compensation package as the comrades in the camps. That money will obviously also come from the exchequer. This govt has far outstripped any previous one in doling out money to its supporters from the state treasury, in fact the BRB govt is probably the most effective poverty-alleviation administration this country has ever seen. The war was costly, but the peace is turning out to be even more expensive.
Actual headlines this week (with the Ass' aside in brackets):'Maoists Keep Mum' (Dad Furious)
'Minister Goes Mad' (Others Follow Suit)
