Nepal's national airline was flying high as long as the country was an absolute monarchy. As soon as we got a constitutional king in 1990 it started being dismantled by the kangresi Dad, Dotter & Son-in-law, GmbH. But the real collapse came in the past four years after Nepal became a republic and they dropped 'Royal' from Royal Nepal Airlines Corporation. RNAC is now NAC: No-Aircraft Corruption. And just when we thought the airline couldn't sink any further, the baddie Touristic Minister is showing a knack to wreck NAC. He has replaced a veteran airline captain and appointed his Kalikot crony, Grade 8 graduate Manrup Shahi, as the new chairman. But the airline's glory days may be back, because it has reverted to its old name: 'Shahi Nepal Bayuseba Nigum'.

***

Meanwhile, it has emerged that the guy who tarmaced the helipad at the airport had to offer so much in ghoos up and down the ministry and department that there wasn't enough money left over to buy the asphalt. Which is why there are potholes large enough to swallow Ecureuils on the apron. But guess what, this fellow also has the contract to collect parking fees at both domestic and international, sub-leases the tea shops inside the terminal, has the contract to make security and immigration stickers and has a say in not allowing any other taxis than the Vintage Limo Cartel at the international terminal and the Antique VW Van Syndicate at the Air Cargo Section. The man's got it all pretty much stitched up. No wonder even Com Yummy couldn't get rid of him during her tenure.

***

The Dispute Resolution Committee (DRC) got into a dispute last week regarding the mechanism to resolve disputes between the three parties about who should be the indisputable leader of this country. So the Big Three have come up with a new sub-committee within the DRC and a specialised committee tasked specifically to resolve new disputes that may arise in future. Whether it will work is disputable. The newly set up Trouble-shooting Mechanism may just have to shoot anyone who makes trouble.

***

The Special Committee has apparently decided that since proponents of the American Model and the British Model would not budge, the only way to make progress on the draft of the constitution would be to go for a French Model, which is more or less like we have now: PKD is behaving like an executive president and he is cohabiting with ceremonial prime minister, JNK. But perhaps they should have looked at other models as well that are more suited to the Nepal situation:

The former-Yugoslavia Model: Chop country up into little pieces
The North Korea Model: Use their definition of 'democratic people's republic'
The Cambodia Model: Let our Maoists go back to where they left off in April 2006
The Somalia Model: Hand over federal units to ethnic warlords
The Sri Lanka Model: Leave it to the Norwegians
The Bhutan Model: Leave it to the Indians

***

When a couple of his classmates from school came to meet him at Baluwatar, they reminded the prime minister of his childhood nickname: "Pangray". They found Pangray hiding under the quilt pretending to be sick because he didn't want to face his party's central committee, and the wrath of those who want him to step down. "I didn't promise to resign, I promised to re-sign," JN said. The PM told his party he doesn't know who sneaked the words 'people war' into the president's address to parliament. He lied. The PMO warned the president under direct orders from The Boss not to deviate from the text when Shital Nibas raised objections. It's pretty clear who sprinkled the president's speech with Maoist jargon and doublespeak: Maoist Prime Minister Comrade Pangray.

***

Trust His Ferociousness to try to out-maneuver the two rivals within his party by playing footsie with both. To Baidya the Hardcore he has been saying, don't worry comrade it is just tactical we will grab power after Dasain, let's just confuse the useful idiots by pretending to fight. At the same time, PKD has proposed BRB as prime ministerial candidate. Laldhoj Comrade, being even more devious and scheming than his chairman, sees right through it and has so far refused to swallow the bait.