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Comes word from Aurora, Colorado, (and this is not a delayed April Fool's prank) that Deepak Sharma Bajgain, the 2011 Nepal Tourism Goodwill Ambassador, at the behest of the Global Lynx Foundation (go ahead, google it) successfully smashed two world records for 'Most Grapes Eaten In Three Minutes' (180) and 'Most Envelopes Torn in Half in 30 Seconds' (44). As reported by the Aurora Sentinel. Bajgain trashed the previous record for most grapes eaten in three minutes (172) held by American Ashrita Furman and the most envelopes torn in half by German Christian Shafer. Yes, the Nepali can!
With goodwill ambassadors like Bajgain, there is no doubt in my mind that this country can meet its MDG target of eliminating hunger by 2015 as well as entice 1 million tourists to visit Nepal in 2011. He has done the country proud and shown what we are capable of. OK, the prime minister may not have been able to complete his cabinet more than two months since his appointment, and we probably won't be able to complete our constitution in time, and our international airport may look like a godown, but hey, we have people in this country who are in the Guinness Book for breaking the world record for reading aloud for 113 hours straight, playing table tennis for four hours straight, and eating 34 cloves of garlic in one minute (burp).
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Nepal's karmacharis have shown the way by refusing to sit around twiddling their thumbs while the governing party and its coalition partners go rafting. If the civil servants have launched their own expedition to Mt Everest, can civil society be far behind? And the big question is: can Rameswor Khanal make it to the summit team? And what's with the commies suddenly all going shooting the rapids? No sooner had Oli-Nepal taken up the paddles from Fisling to Kurintar last week, comrades from the Unfed Marx-bad, Lenin-bad Mao-bad also piled into three micros and headed off to the white waters of the Bhote Kosi. I know where all this is leading to:
* 3-Party Summit on Sagarmatha To Sign 8-Pt Pact
* Sky-diving Over Baluwatar (parachutes optional)
* Kiran Faction Tattoo Fundraiser
* 22-Party New Year Party in Party Palace
* Eat-All-You-Can Coalition Competition
* Ministers vs Secretaries Wrestling Semi-Finals
* Maobaddie Boxing Knock-Out Tournament
* YCL-PLA Cantonment Clean-Up Expedition
* Inter-Party Dandi Bew Challenge
* Intra-Party Back Stabbing Quarter-finals
* All-Potty Crap-Shooting Championships
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And the real story behind the Purna and Purak bud-jet is that the Baddies wanted a Purak so they could pocket a cool Rs 9 billion in supplementary cash to fill up their war chest. Now that the cabinet has taken the decision to pass a full budget, it still doesn't solve the problem of spending the dam money in the next three months.
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We shouldn't be blaming poor Jhal Gnat for being unable to complete his cabinet. That is unfair. He has done his bit and got his party's nominees into government even though one minister with five portfolios can only spend one day a week in the towel-draped chair of each ministry he holds to sip tea and sign papers. No, the real problem is within the Baddies, they went back to the jungle in Sukute for old time's sake just so they could finalise their list for ministerships. But alas, candidates from all three factions cancelled each other out. Zilch also with Upadro Yadav, who desperately wants Phoren so he can spend three weeks in a month out of Nepal like he did in his last stint. But there are others in his party who think it's their turn to earn air miles.
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The mule's mole in Singha Darbar says the cabinet deadlock will soon be resolved. The real problem was there weren't enough SUVs for the new ministers, which was delaying the announcement. Now that Sam Rat has handed over UNMIN's Indian-donated Scorpios to the Nepal govt, the cabinet will be complete in a jiffy.
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S'long, GUFFADI
