 |
1. Detach your home from the grid completely: use firewood in the kitchen, go back to petromax for reading, and kerosene for Molotov cocktails for the Jana Bidroha starting 28 May
2. Yank out doors and turn your fridge into a bookshelf and your microwave into an underwear closet
3. Buy a mobile that has a built-in lighter so you can ignite candles with it
4. Buy an exercise bicycle with dynamo to burn carbs while powering the wifi router and PC for internet
5. Learn Braille
6. Buy surplus US Army night-vision equipment for the whole family from e-Bay, including one for your Rottweiler for added security at night
7. Collect the brightest little fireflies in a jar and use as emergency light (needs regular replenishing)
8. Repaint your commode with phosphorescent paint so you can locate it when you have to go at night
9. Promote load-shedding as a tourist attraction (slogan: "Visit Nepal and Travel Back to the Dark Ages")
10. Apply for DV lottery and get the hell outta here
***
We are used to Comrade Cry-Baby shedding a crocodile tear or two. After all, Hamid Karzai, Luiz Inacio Lula de Silva, Olusegun Obasanjo, and, most famously, Kenneth Kaunda all broke into tears at the drop of a hat. But it seems the mass hysteria last Thursday at the Baddie central committee meeting infected even Commander Annual Man Pun, who was reduced to tears when the Chairman said he was withdrawing his candidacy. ("Uh-oh, there goes my Home Ministry.")
***
Predictably, the secret 7-Punkt agreement is tangled in a band-fand dispute again. The great thing about tap-secret agremos is that you can always have a different interpretation of what transpired. Hence, PM JN says, "It wasn't an agreement, it was just a proposal." Or: "It wasn't secret, there just wasn't even time to inform my UML colleagues." Whereas Comrade Awesomeness, speaking to cadre at Kirtipur says there weren't just seven secret agreements, "there were many more." Like he did in the Shaktikhor tape about UNMIN, he went on to boast: "My agreement with JN was just a tactic, we fooled him and we also showed India who is boss. We can throw him out anytime."
The morning after this tirade, PKD meets secretly this time with the same Uncooked Operative who he met in S'pore and Kowloon last year. No wonder no one trusts this guy.
***
Under pressure from his party for having unilaterally and slyly signed away everything just so he could become PM by hook but mostly by crook, Jholababu has been backpedalling furiously. He is also saying he never agreed to a 'rotational' prime ministership, only a 'revolving' one after NC joined the govt. Fat chance. Looks like the only choices we have are a 'revolting' PM or one with a 'revolver'.
On the establishment of a separate security force for cantonment Baddies, JN now says he was thinking along the lines of forest rangers, a rapid deployment disaster relief force or a border security force under the army's command. That's like letting a wolf in sheep's clothing guard the goat herd. Imagine what a boost that will be to illegal logging and cross-border smuggling. Besides, Nepal will need a major natural disaster every month or so just to keep this force occupied, and away from mischief. And how come no one talks of the YCL Red Guards, when are they going to be demobilised and disbanded?
***
Airbus Industrie, which had refused to payback a 750,000 dollar advance, finally agreed to do so this week probably in the hope that the new govt would revive the deal under a Baddie cabinet. But, guess what, the NAC management is refusing to send the bank a/c#, it seems they don't want the money back. Tax payers can also kiss goodbye to the $25,000 fine in hotel charges for Makunay's visit to New York that got cancelled at the last moment last year. We were also fined $45,000 by the Indians for cancelling the MRP deal. Like Singapore, this is getting to be a 'fine' country, yar.
Hard to understand why PM JN is off to Cambodia for 'peace talks' with Jhusil and Chairman Tremendous mediated by Comrade Hun Sen. What can they say in Siem Reap that they can't in Simara? One way to salvage the trip would be for PKD to visit Tuol Sleng, and sit in at the Khmer Rouge war crimes trial as an observer.
