Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
A bunch of sorry asses

ASS


No, the Evening Standard did not get an exclusive on the Chitwon Pistol Incident, the headline refers to British Army 'Para-commandos' implicated in killing non-combatants in Helmand. But the London tabloid does evoke the past and the future.

NC and UML of course poured out righteous anger at the royal ex-highness carrying out Hawaii Fire at Tiger Tops in order to mask their own inability to end the political deadlock. But conspicuous by their muted reax were the Baddies. That figures, since the Mau Mau are also the type that shoot first and talk later. Several of their rank and file, including a CA member, who didn't just brandish weapons but actually murdered half a dozen people, are walking around the streets in broad daylight. Apprehending Paras Sircar would mean the comrades would have to be booked as well.

***

Although Rubel Bhai passed himself off as a victim in all this, the skeletons have started rattling in his closet as well. He may have been better off not going to the press at all with the story that the Clown Prince told him to stick it up when he refused to go on a night safari. It now appears that he is the Senior Vice-Chairman and Acting President of the extremely dubious World Peace and Economic Development Organisation (WPEDO), registered in Dhaka, which has an HQ shaped incredibly like an ocean-going liner in Dhanmondi called Chistia Palace. And guess who WPEDO's Executive Vice President is: none other than our very own Suzie Wong and her dotter Melanie Koirala. All three have been listed as "Dr" on the website (www.wpedo.com), which has since been deactivated.

***

One after-effect of the trigger-happy prince brandishing a pistol at the son-in-law of the foreign minister is that it seems to have patched up the brewing row in the NC over party leadership. By coming out swinging Sushil Da may have bought time on his own appointment fiasco. Jhusil Koirala immediately used the opp to going around parleying with party leaders to create a unity front and by Friday we may actually have a full-fledged House session on this. Not bad to see them agreeing on at least something for a change. At least we know now how to get the kangresis to start working together: let loose Paras to piss off Suzie Q. The Prince and the Princess are our insurance policy, let's keep them around just in case things get totally out of hand. May Pashupati and Allah have mercy on these spoilt royalties.

***

Comrade Fierce One is down with "a little bit of typhoid" according to his secretary-cum-body guard-cum-receptionist-cum-computer operator-cum-heir apparent son Prakash. The Dear One seems to have ticked off Makunay by not passing on the PM's phone to Dad. MKN called PKD from Brussels a little before midnight, forgetting the time diff. Here is the transcript:

MKN: Hello.
Prakash: Who's this?
MKN: I am Nepal.
Prakash: The country or the person?
MKN: The prime minister.
Prakash: Oh yeah? And I am Vladimir Illyich. Don't you know what time it is in Nepal? You think you can run the country? Go away, Dad's sleeping. (Hangs up noisily).

Long and short of it is that MKN is not on speaking terms with PKD for the moment. And Makunay has stopped making phone calls himself, and lets his PA call. The quote of the week must be the prime minister admitting on his return from Belgium: "The reason I have been travelling so much is because it doesn't matter whether I am in Nepal or not." What has he been drinking, the truth serum?

***

So Himal Sharma has been elected the president of the All Nepal Federation of Student Unions (Revolutionary) during a general convention in which the Chief Guest was the son and successor of the Sendero Luminoso leader, Prof Abimael Guzman, aka Comrade Gonzalo. ("Long live the solidarity of the people of Nepal and Peru"). He may be the boss of kranticurry students, but Himal is 40 years old, with four grown-up children, one of them in medical school in China. In his campaign speech he proposed all Maoist leaders take their children out of private schools, which didn't make a lot of people happy. And then his boss Comrade Chairman turned up and threatened to turn all schools in Nepal into 'barracks' and all school children into 'gorillas'.

***

Compared to these buffoons, Dr Baburam's remarks at a book launch this week organised by the Nepal-China Society in the capital actually sound quite logical. BRB said (exact quote): "Buddhism is actually quite close to Marxist ideology. Lord Buddha held very progressive views." Ahem. Comrade Buddha didn't go around killing 16,000 people, but that's a minor point.

ass(at)nepalitimes.com



1. who cares
so paras shot the illegal gun to protect nationalism.

then he must always walk around with illegal gun hoping to protect nationalism.


can anyone advice me how to convert crimes like murder, rape, looting into nationalism?



cont..... next





2. here n there
Lots of asses this week.  Nice ass! Dr. Suzie Q, wow. Sounds hot, lol. 

3. here n there
Actually, Paras is more genuine than 99% of politicians. Last time he did an interview (before the wild wild chitwan episode), he admitted he saw the errors of his way, he even apologized to all. Seemed heartfelt in a "Paras way". When asked by the young interviewer, if the old ways Paras was left behind. He thought about it, and replied I have changed, BUT I am a human being, I can't guarantee I won't do those things again. Watching that interview with him and his fidgeting hands, I couldn't stop cracking up. He was serious. He had thought about it and he wasn't lying about unlike our great leaders. 

I say we put him on the chair, not the electric chair, the Prime Minister's. May be he can kick some ass and shoot some people to get this country going. Not maybe, he will kickass. Dude had no responsibilities before, he wasn't going to king so he excelled at partying and such. Damn old farts, need to give the young'ns a chance. Anyway, How much more f**k up can it get? And ass, you can knock some sense into him, if he goes over board with the boozing. Its time for the bizarro world (seinfeld), "do the opposite, if all my instincts have failed me so far, I must do the exact opposite of instinct." George Costanza.
After that, may be Dr. Suzie Q's turn. Naahhh.  


4. Gheo Chaku Naran
NT3532 Cover Page.
What a grand sight to see!
Representatives of 27 parties sat down to munch Momo -cha ,the newly discovered national diet of the populace.  But we are still impoting buffalos from south of the border!
 Maxim Gorky once said,; "Miarable being when he sees another miserable being feels happy."



5. ripvanwinkle
bloody hell this chap paras can�t seem to do anything right. i had a feeling that this guy was a down right murderer, guess i was wrong. anyway the enemy of my enemy  not always have to be my friend. over all in nepal i think its who you hate the most counts. 

6. Sabham
Ow so Suzie Q is a 'Dr' and her Bengali Jawai is a 'Dr' too and so is her ??? chhori a 'Dr'?...interesting! Ppl say Suzie Q has earned a Phd in doing nothing while the bengali hero has Phd in VOIP and fake passports...I would love to know what the putri did her Phd in!

7. Gyan
All three have been listed as "Dr" on the website (www.wpedo.com), which has since been deactivated.

Actually the site is working:
http://www.wpedo.com/wpedo.html


8. Gole
#7
Dr. of Corruption
Dr. of Fraud.
&
Dr. of Cheating.
 Are you all satisfied?


LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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