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It is the time of year when each animule has his or her day. The crows are worshipped on Crow Day on Thursday. Dog Day on Friday is actually a national holiday. Cow Day on Saturday is when guys are actually holier than on other days. But why no Ass Day? Why doesn't this asinine country have a day set aside for us donkeys?
The whole of this week, the only decision the prime minister took during his cabinet meetings was to declare next Monday a national holiday. Yay! It seems the only way to have Donkey Day is to take a delegation of donkeys to Baluwatar and present the Take Care Prime Minister with a Gyapan Patra.
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While we proceed to finish off the goats that somehow escaped decapitation over Dasain (see rescued goat headed to Budhanilkantha, above) it may be time to ask ourselves what would have happened to Nepal's rankings if Transparency International had found out about the goings on at the Food Corporation. Nepal would have pipped Afghanistan to be declared Asia's most corrupt country.
Apparently the big boss at the Food Corruption godown at Thapathali declared 250 goats were dead on arrival, so the chyangras were written off. The high mortality rate, however, raised alarm bells and the Auditor General ordered dozers to exhume and count the ex-goats. Forensic examination at the crime scene uncovered the remains of only 25 bokas and khasis. At the rate of 15,000 roops per goat, means someone made a cool 33.75 laks. Niiiice.
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And now to politics where, I am glad to report, there is nothing new to report. Everything is where it was last week, and all is hunky dory. BRB's barbs are getting a little barbier, and PKD tried to frame his comrade by sending his name for a Nepal seminar in Delhi so his 'Indian connection' would be exposed. Awesome is up to his old tricks.
By the looks of it the party is headed for a three-way split, and to say that the tirades in the Baddie media are vicious may be an understatement. The Maoist press has such a fearsome reputation that even non-Maoist publishers have launched Maoist-looking newspapers to extort ads from businesses.
There is a slogan going around: "If not Ram Chandra then Ram Baran." The president may not endorse this, but someone should tell the Baron to order his chakaridars not to close down the airport at peak hour just because he is landing or taking off. NOTAMs for VVIP movement are a vestige of our feudal past and should be abandoned.
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Had been ignoring Suzie Q because she hadn't done anything outrageous for a while. But after her limo got stopped by the Army while she was on her way to send off Ram Baron, she vented venom and scorn at the PM and the COAS. Then she went to the Reporting Club and declared that the army was getting too big for its boots and there would be a military coup unless RCP stepped down. Like Daddy like Dotter. Remember Girija Bau in 2004 unleashed his hired goons to unleash mayhem on the streets of the capital after Kingji's army's stopped him from driving to the tarmac to board a flite to Biratnagar? The Ass' Maruti had its windshield shattered in that riot. Well, the real reason for Suz Ma'm's frayed temper was that she wasn't included in the Prez's China entourage.
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Looks like after a slew of China visits, everyone and their grandmother is headed south. Going to India are ex-kingG, Lion Brave and Sun Brave. Last one leaving turn off the lights.
ass(at)nepalitimes.com
