BIKASH KARKI

Mahara Sir is intriguingly coy about the wiretap leaked to the press in which he is caught inflagrante on tape soliciting Rs 500 million from an unnamed Chinese intermediary. The Ass feels bad for Krishna Bahadur, who is actually among the more wholesome comrades. He is so honest, in fact, that he hasn't even tried to deny it was his voice on the tape. It almost seems as if he wants to flaunt his connections with friends in high places in Hong Kong and Shanghai.

In an FM interview, Mahara Sir said wiretapping was a breach of his fundamental human right to privacy. "Can't a guy talk on the phone privately in this country anymore?" he thundered. Reminds one of party spokesperson Com Dina saying during the crippling six-day national shutdown in June that that his party had the fundo right to enforce the strike by vandalising public transport and threatening people with bodily harm if they opened their shops or schools.

***

Boasting about one's international intelligence connections is not new in Nepal. A Kathmandu tabloid in 1982 printed a list of supposed CIA assets in the establishment. It was a bombshell expose, but some KTM high-fliers were apparently miffed they did not make it to the list, and one was overheard saying at an embassy reception: "They think I am not important enough? This is an outrage."

Which probly explains why a media stalwart bragged on the front page last week that he got a call about the Mahara tape from Lainchour while he was in a house in Baluwatar "at a regular media briefing by the Chinese ambassador". Wonder what Com Qiu thought of that disclosure?

***

Perhaps the only question more intriguing than the comrades engaging in fund-raising by fone was who was at the other end of the line. It now appears they were Chinese contractors and/or wildlife wholesalers who would have stood to gain enormously in hydropower and the trans-Himalayan trade in tiger components if the Baddies came back to power. Whew. For a moment there methot it was all about geopolitical rivalry.

***

The Chinese parliamentary delegation which was coincidentally in town this week wasn't all that pleased about the manure hitting the propeller just as they arrived. The mule's mole at the Soaltee overheard the head of the Chinese delegation telling a besuited delegation of Baddies in no uncertain terms that they took a very dim view of China's good name being besmirched. "If you had to talk money, why did you do a dumbass thing like talking about it on the phone?" he is reported to have said, or words to that effect. To which Chairman Supercali-fragilistic said: "Cross my heart it won't happen again." PKD then laid out a litany of complaints about Dilli dilly-dallying on his PM candidature. Hey, why whine with the Chinese? BTW, did anyone sweep the Crowne Plaza Boardroom for bugs? Wouldn't be surprised if there is a tape of this, too.

***

The upshot from the whole scandal has been that the comrades have stopped using their phones. Not only do they refrain from political transactions on their mobiles, they now switch it off because a cell phone user can be located pretty easily if the device is on. And the reason the other parties have all fallen silent about Maharagate is that none of them know for sure that there aren't tapes of their own horse-trading. Always wondered why politicians only trade in horses, what's wrong with donkeys?

***

Now that the UNMIN spat has been settled amicably (for four months) all eyes and ears are now turned to September 26 when the eighth parliamentary election for PM is finally supposed to yield a result. If the outcome is still negative, pressure will build up on Ceremonial Speaker Name Bang to crack the whip on the neutered parties. Com Subhas is sounding more and more like King Birendra when he says "I have the authority to break this deadlock, but I don't want to use my privilege."

***

Headlines of the week: CJ Soothes Ruffled Feathers
NHRC in Doghouse

And the winner is: Vultures Cry Fowl