At this rate, expect a holiday for the festivals of all of Nepal's 103 ethnic groups, full moon days and bands. When the Maobaddies found out that their planned band on 10 December fell on International Human Rights Day, they moved it forward by one day. This means they will be safely violating our human right to freedom of movement on the ninth of December instead of the tenth.
Meanwhile, since Id fell on a Saturday, the government moved the holiday to Sunday and declared its own nationwide shutdown. Haven't googled this yet, but Nepal is probably the only country in the world where there are Muslim Maoists. So let me raise a toast to all the forthcoming red-letter days in December.
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The prime minister and the chaubiseys held a high-level mechanism at Everest Base Camp this week, but the Maobaddies stole their thunder by stopping the country's fossil fuel supply. This is the single most effective effort by any country to reduce a nation's carbon footprint in the run-up to the Copenhagen Summit. The cabinet just talks, but the Baddies are doing something about global warming and deserve our kudos.
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After declaring their own parallel autonomous regional governments, the Mau Mau are now looking for a way to quickly put the ethnic genie back in the bottle. But the agitation for automatic regions is now being driven by hardliners over whom the leadership has almost no control. Awesome has been telling the international community he needs to declare automatic regional councils to keep his party together and to control the ethnic agenda so it doesn't get out of hand. If that is true, then the tail is definitely wagging the doggie.
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It was bound to happen. With the revolution having degenerated into a criminal syndicate as erstwhile comrades openly dip their paws into every available honeypot, it was only a question of time before they started fighting over money. And sure enough, one baddie CA member from Jhapa is being detained in Chulachuli over a property dispute. Maoist unions are openly defying orders from party bosses. The commanders in the cantonments are getting edgy because party HQ is only sending them 3k a month instead of 5k, while senior comrades violate their own guidelines by riding limos supplied by sympathetic sahus. Senior party leaders now ask for armed police escorts when they travel the districts because they seem more afraid of threats from within their own party than from others.
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So it is now in the leadership's own interest to disarm and demobilise its cadre. And the Ass has a great idea: give camp inmates a golden handshake. Most would gladly take a three lak lump sum and head off to greener pastures in Malaysia rather than rot in snake-infested camps playing volleyball all day. It could easily be financed with a consortium of donors and be a more cost-effective investment in the peace process than indefinitely extending and broadening UNMIN's mandate.
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DPM SuzyQ surprised patients in Kohalpur Medical College by dropping in unannounced to present patients with bouquets. But that PR gesture cost the exchequer 12 laks for renting an Mi-17 for an extra hour on her flight back from Bajura.
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Amik Kamred fractured his hand during the Singha Darbar gherao last month and the Baddies rushed to condemn police atrocities. But when Makunay went to see Amik-san in hospital, the patient told him it was actually friendly fire: he got hit by a brick thrown by fellow-Baddie protesters. And why is ex-Maoist Tharu commander Roshan Tharu accompanying royal minister Gopal Dahit to WFP to ask for donations?
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Now that YSL has opened an outlet in Darbar Marg, guess that means the YCL is finally going out of fashion?
ass(at)nepalitimes.com
