While California debates the merits of legalising marijuana, Nepal is way ahead of the US. Has anyone noticed the pot growing in pots right in the middle of Museum Marg (formerly Darbar Marg)? Always wondered why we have to have those hard-to-maintain flower pots, when we allow taxis to triple park on this road. And, has anyone noticed Grandfather of the Nation, Prithvi Narayan Shah, turning into a paleface in his statue in front of Singha Darbar? Must be an ad gimmick by Fair and Handsome.
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It's not just ash trays and picture frames that have started disappearing from the Republican Museum at Narayanhiti. Apparently Dipendra's desktop's hard drive went missing as it was being moved from the former royal secretariat to make room for the Foreigner Ministry.
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Now that they are in the opposition, the Baddies are pulling out all the stops. Monday's shutdown of the capital showed that they will even deploy the Young Tots Communist League (YTCL) of street kids aged 10 and below to deflate tyres of bicycles in future strikes. They really went too far this time, and gauging from the reax on the streets from vendors to traders, taxi drivers and even rickshaw pullers it was a PR disaster for Com Yummy who led the charge. Yet, she has reason to be peeved. Just when she had installed a cousin at Nepal Airlines and smoothed the way for the purchase of two Airbuses, her government resigned. Despite the delay-tactics in parliament, the deal just couldn't be wrapped up in time and now that the Supremo Court has reinstated Capt Limbo. It looks like Boeing's chances have revived.
Which is why former First Dotter Sujata is finding it difficult to decide between Tourism and Foreign in the new cabinet in this Government of Losers. Daddy is pushing Foreign to Makunay, but Tourism suddenly has dollar signs written all over it because of the prospect of aircraft purchases. However, Dotter'd have to paraglide and bungee jump as part of the job description and this is a big minus point. Opposition to Sujata getting either ministry is stronger from within the Koirala clan and the NC than from the UML or MJF.
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Two tycoons who paid up to Baddie ministers in return for favours in deals from telecom to aviation are now left in a spot. They will either have to kiss the moola goodbye and cut their losses, or pay up again to the new masters. The business buddies of the baddies, esp PKD's son, are in a bit of a lurch.
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Of all the hare-brained schemes concocted by the short-lived Baddie govt, the one that takes the prize for Absurdity of the Week is the bill being proposed to parliament for mandatory conscription of all Nepali males. What flummoxes the Ass is whether such things are proposed by the Comrades off the top of their heads because they are so bored sitting at these meetings that they need to liven it up a bit or whether it is part of a grand design to launch World War III. Either way, it doesn't make the idea any less asinine. Sixty per cent of Nepalis are less than 25 years old, let's say half of them are between the ages of 18-25. That would mean 7 million men and women under arms. At a time when we can't even sustain a 100,000-strong army how do the Kamreds propose to fund this and, more importantly: this monstrous army is needed to defend ourselves from whom?
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As we try to make up for lost time in completing the new constitution, as Makunay is greeted with a 20 kg marigold garland in his home district, as the mantri mandal bandfand gets really ugly, and as the country sinks deeper into the morass, a donkey fan suggests including a clause in the new constitution allowing Nepalis to opt for collective euthanasia.
The Ass collected the following acronyms from a short news item in a national daily about the threat of a nationwide stir by teachers: BSEC NERE DEO PABSON NISTU HISAN GAN NTU NTRF ANFSU(R) NSU PAPAD. The Ass' Grand Prize goes to PAPAD for giving INSECT and HERPES strong competition for having the most-imaginative NGO acronyms.
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