Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
Ass-to ass talk


ASS


Bad idea to change the YCL's acronym. Just when we were getting used to it, and it had started to strike terror in the hearts of Nepalis, the Maobaddies have gone and added a 'D for democrazy' and turned it into an ungainly YCDL.

***

Now it sounds like a high-speed fibre optic cable connection and not a name for a dreaded bunch of paramilitary terroristas. But all's not lost, what the YCDL means by democracy is not what we mean by democracy, theirs is the DPRK model of democracy.

***

Funny how our communist parties like to call themselves "unified" or "united" when in reality they are splitting faster than neutrons inside an atomic reactor. By renaming their party Unified Communist Party of Nepal (Maoist) and inducting Comrade Kaji Narayan, the baddies set off a chain reaction within their own party that nearly led to the party splitting as soon as it was unified. Then they totally forgot that there is already another commie faction called Unified Nepal Communist Party, not to mention the Unfed Marxist-Leninists.

***

The Chinese have made it pretty plain that they don't want all this confusion, they would prefer it if the CP of the PRC could have fraternal relations with just one monolithic party. Which is probably why they have summoned Matrikabhai to the Mainland for a man-to-man talk. Matrika, as the more alert among you know who, had just returned from Bangkok after having his head examined and is set to announce a new semi-underground CPN-M to distinguish himself from the UCPN-M. It seems he's got the tacit support of the Gang of Four in the politburo for this move so as to wrest control of the Madhes and pull the rug from under the high-caste tarai parties. If that's so then this is just a pretend-split in the party.

***

It is when parties in the ruling coalition can't control their youth wings from fighting pitched battles on the streets with knives that you know this is just not going to work. In fact it now appears that the Maobaddies are closer to the kangresis then they are with their eh-Maley comrades.

***

Members of the coalition were mighty miffed that the prime minister went off and addressed the nation live on tv without informing them. One of them even pointedly told PKD to start behaving like a prime minister and not just Comandante Terrifico. But what really got their goat was when they found out that the whole state of the nation address was GPK's idea. In fact, Pukada even seems to have got his talking points from the Old Fox (except perhaps the bit about uterine prolapse). And it figures because Awesome didn't mention the word "feudal" even once, even though BRB reportedly gave the speech a final go-over.

***

Wonder if any of you were there with the Ass to witness the talk-of-the-town pow wow between Comrade Rambabu and Comrade Makunay at India House after the flag-hoisting. Laldhoj was ticked off that MKN had called the baddies criminals, and it was just as the exchange had started getting really heated and a crowd had started gathering that Excellency Sood had to call a ceasefire and suggest continuing the discussion at the Reporter's Club, at which Comrade Dhamala was seen to be nodding vigorously.

***

Recriminations are flying thick and fast about Pukada's aborted take-off for Scandinavia. Nepal's ambassador to Denmark has been complaining privately about Denmark's ambassador to Nepal not pushing the visit hard enough while he had done all the spadework in Copenhagen. But what to do when an ambassador who has been recalled thrice doesn't want to come back?

***

One can understand that Durgesh's guru has just had a bypass and he wants to stick around to pay a last courtesy call. Or maybe he wanted to host the presidential visit. Either way, time to let Ram Karki have a go at it, but let's just hope that with his Sikkim connections Comrade Partha will not take us down that particular historical path.

***

Yes, I did it. Finally a column that doesn't even once mention that dreaded word "load-shedding" even once. After Ian raised the issue of Nepal's power cuts even at the UN Security Council last week, however, what is left for
us to say?

ass(at)nepalitimes.com



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


ADVERTISEMENT



himalkhabar.com            

NEPALI TIMES IS A PUBLICATION OF HIMALMEDIA PRIVATE LIMITED | ABOUT US | ADVERTISE | SUBSCRIPTION | PRIVACY POLICY | TERMS OF USE | CONTACT