Trust us, Nepalis will find a dark cloud behind every silver lining. For those depressed about the current half-day power outages, the Ass' sage advice is to look at it as at least still having half-day of power.
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The other good thing is not to have acted on the proposal in 1996 to build an electric crematorium in Teku. Imagine with daily 12 hour load-shedding, there would be bodies piled high, the mortuary freezers wouldn't work and there would be the threat of dangerous epidemics.
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There is a light at the end of the tunnel, however. And, no, it's not another train coming at us in the opposite direction. It is the government's plan to import diesel plants to generate 200MW by July. Right, that must be what PKD meant when he told the Confederation of Indian Industries in Delhi last year that he was interested in "mega" projects.
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Now that our country has decided to go from being a hydropowered nation to a diesel-powered one, it's time to change the name of the Water Resources Ministry to the Diesel Ministry. Then we can officially disband the Nepal Electricity Authoritarians (NEA) and let the NOC take over its functions.
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This also neatly takes the UML's hand out of the diesel kickback honeypot because Bishnu Poudel happens to be water minister and has no say over which diesel plants to buy.
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The government is discretely eyeing the good-as-new 2,000MW of rental gensets that were brought in for standby power during the Beijing Olympics. Business associates of the ex-royal son-in-low and the First Son are said to be licking their chops in anticipation of the windfall. The govt in its infinite wisdom has already declared an energy emergency so there is no need for a messy and lengthy bidding process. The upshot of all this, folks, is that next winter there will be plenty of power. It's just that the electricity will be so expensive no one can afford it.
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In the midst of all this, wonder why no one has thought of nuclear power. There are several advantages of Nepal going nuke. First, we get to generate millions of megawatts without increasing our carbon footprint. Second, we can tharkao the Americans that our reactors will be used to make weapons grade plutonium so that they will lift the terrorist tag on the Baddies and we can blackmail Big Brother to leave us alone. The Northern Koreans did it and it worked brilliantly, no reason why it shouldn't work here.
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With the economy heading south, it is no wonder our rulers are getting more and more beholden to the southern neighbour. What Pranab Bhai couldn't do, it looks like Amaresh got done in just one sitting at Baluwatar last week. Essentially, it was to read the riot act and warn Pukada to not even think about flirting with the Gang of Four under the tutelage of Comrade Baidyanath, Inc.
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This was quickly followed by the visit this week of some of Lalu's and Mulayam's henchmen who met fellow crossborder Yadavs including the prez, the farang minister and assorted oppositionists. They twisted the tails of the Maoists, rotated the earlobes of the UML and throttled the kangresis. It looks like everyone got the message, because suddenly there is progress in a slew of pending matters that had defied agreement in the past: leadership of the special committee on integration, the band-fand of the numerous commissions that need to be set up and, most importantly, getting the kangresis to sit down and talk.
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But when the NC doublecrossed the baddies and continued their boycott of the assembly, His Awesomeness was overheard telling his nephew: "These guys are even more unreliable than us."
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Baddie ministers are still sticking to their decision to boycott the official national day parties of countries that are constitutional monarchies, it seems. They didn't appear at the Japanese National Day function, and stayed away from the Thai bash. Careful there, Dahal Sir, they may pull out of the Koteswor-Bhaktapur six lane highway project, then what?
ass(at)nepalitimes.com
