Many have described Nepali politics as a theatre of the absurd. But in Ass' scatological opinion, it is more of a social lavatory. In all this, the squabbles within the Koirala clan are probably the most bizarre. Freedom fighter BP Koirala was jailed for 10 years for being a democratically elected prime minister by a king whose son staged a copycat coup 36 years later. Mahendra's son Gyanendra makes BP's son Prakash a minister for being such a sycophant. Prakash thus provided new meaning to his Dad's dictum of "national reconciliation". Then Prakash's daughter, Manisha, comes to Nepal and says Kingji is a great guy at a time when her uncle, BP's bro Girijau, is leading a pro-democracy crusade.
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This week, Manisha is in town again for her brother's wedding at the appropriately named Crown Plaza. Her uncle, the prime minister, boycotts the wedding on health grounds although he's out there, relatively hale and hearty the next day, to open a new coronary care unit at the Martyr's Hospital and even gives a short speech sitting down. You must admire the staying power of our PMji: he has been BP's gofer, an underground guerrilla, a hijacker, and it has recently emerged, also a printer of counterfeit Indian notes.
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But no prizes for guessing who the chief guests were for Siddharth Koirala's nuptial with Miss Kazakhstan: Kingji and Queenji. There was much back-slapping and guffawing as the evening progressed showing once more that this doesn't look like the Kingdom of the Setting Sun. Might the Sadhu Bandh in Birganj be a part of the reason? Seeing the pantheon of Hindu godmen from India in attendance sitting on the dusty Raxaul Road in Birganj the other day, it is clear our royalists are using the Hindu Card to make the monarchy an issue not in Nepal but in India.
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Meanwhile, the other feud in the Koirala clan between First Dotter Sujata and First Nephew Shekhar has dragged First Cousin Sushil into the fray, who has pulled up the Portfolioless Minister for shooting her mouth off re: royalty.
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As the momentum of elections pick up, the parties have activated their Committees for the Replenishment of War Chests. While the mainstream parties are doing it in their traditional mainstream style of phoning up their patrons in the business community, the Maoists have proved themselves to be unable to get out of their traditional gun-to-the-head method. The YCL has been hyperactive in campaign financing mode, taking over property of anyone who refuses, making life-threatening phone calls and closing down businesses that refuse to pay election ransom to YCL extortionists. Indian multinationals are being especially targeted. When asked about this the comrades say they are just doing what all other parties are doing. Monkey sees, monkey does.
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The other parties are also raking it in through hydropower deals. The energy crisis is so severe that no one really cares who is getting kickbacks in which power deal. But the flurry of new licenses being granted to foreign companies in the final runup to elections does raise eyebrows. Every Indian conglomerate and their grandmother is in town for the Great Nepal Hydropower Garage Sale. You don't even have to be the highest bidder, you just need to know which gears to lubricate.
Here is the Ass' new buzzword for Loktantrick Nepal: not SSR but CFR. Campaign Finance Reform.
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No sooner had the Young Compatriot's League announced it would field 200 of its cadre per booth at election time (obviously not to pass out soft drinks), the NC's NSU also said it would have its members at polling stations. At this rate rival students are going to outdo each other in capturing polling booths. There is no doubt this is heading to be a Darbhanga-style election.
ass(at)nepalitimes.com
