Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
Politics of garbage

ASS


Pretty soon this is going to be known as the land of shortages: gas, diesel, water, electricity, and brains. The only thing we have an abundance of seems to be filth.

The garbage piling up on the streets is just the outward manifestation of the rot within. The Ministry of Local Development gives Okharpauwa Rs 8 million for letting their idyllic village be Kathmandu's dumping ground. Trouble is that Nuwakote Maoists aren't in the committee that controls the money and they want a part of the action. So they forced the closure of the landfill site. Typical ass-first thinking, if I may say so myself. Extrapolate this to the national level for a preview of things to come once the comrades are in the interim government.

.....

The mother of all tussles has begun over the new government. The madhesis and Maoists are snarling at each other like hyenas over the juicy ministries that are up for grabs. The Ass has learnt from reliable moles that the Maoists are gunning (as it were) for one of the deputy prime ministerships but Girija Koirala is dead (pardon the pun) against it since this would put the Maoists a heartbeat away from the most powerful position that Nepal has ever known. Although with Amik and Sitaula doing their every bidding, and getting UNMIN's wink at not storing 2,000 assault rifles in containers, why would the comrades want more portfolios anyway?

Koirala is under pressure to hand over the deputy prime ministership to a madhesi to placate the tarai. If that happens, the Maoists are sure to want either home or defence. They are also insisting that Comrade Parbati get education to push her version of reading, riting and rithmetic: 'A is for ambush, B is for bomb' and 'three grenades plus two grenades is equal to five grenades' plus a detailed curriculum vitae of the Great Awe-inspiring Leader.

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Just goes to show that the leaders of the eight parties are now behaving like the Dictator they replaced. With loadshedding at six hours a day they decreed that government buildings throughout the country illuminate themselves for three straight nights on the occasion of Loktantra Day. Wonder which hapless districts had to spend three nights in darkness so that Kathmandu's edifices could celebrate the anniversary of the day we overthrew the Rana yoke.

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Then Comrade Prachanda Pratapi Bhupati autographs a flag that is being taken to the top of Mt Everest by Nepali climbers. Nothing wrong with that, right? Wrong. The flag wasn't the national flag but the CPN-M banner and the Sherpas are climbing from the Maoist side of the mountain. Greetings from the land where Mao is alive and kicking to the land where Mao rests in a mausoleum.

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So Sujata tried to get an appointment with Badamaharani Sonia in New Delhi to press home her point that the Reds are taking over Nepal and to get blessings for giving Sitaula the boot. Unfortunately Sonia was too busy showing around Romano Prodi from her maiti and couldn't squeeze her in. So the First Daughter had to fall back on Plan B and meet Sheila Dixit instead. Meanwhile Kingji has sent the Kamakshya Baba from Gauhati as his latest emissary to Delhi, knowing that the godman is also guru of several cabinet ministers there.

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The Ass took a few puffs from the chillums of the Bhole Babas at Pashupati on Friday and was still badly hung over the next morning which is why he did a double take when he saw the headline in the papers: 'King Gyanendra Gets Stoned On Shivaratri'. Wot?

ass@nepalitimes.com



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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