In the course of their daily investigations, Nepali Times staffers are often on the receiving end of confessions and questions about all spheres of adult behaviour-sticky office issues and messy relationships, bad habits and crises of creativity. As a service to our readers, we now refer all quandaries of a grown-up nature to Auntie, a waspish spinster whose colourful past, scepticism, and inexhaustible wealth of put-downs make her a good source of advice and wake-up calls. Please address all queries to [email protected].

I have been thinking about being a nun for a long time, but I often have evil, dirty thoughts. Do you think there is still hope for me?

Chaste and chafing

Dear C&C,
First, may we compliment you on your devotion. To persist in wanting to take your vows in the face of powerful fantasies is noble indeed. But is it wise? There's no point becoming a nun if your only meditations are going to be on the strong limbs of the carpenter. If you have such doubts now, consider carefully whether you will be able to stop yourself from making inappropriate lunges in the direction of the milkman, a fellow traveller on the path of righteousness or, worse, a barnyard animal. (This has a more established pedigree than you might imagine-Sufi poet Rumi once wrote of an otherwise pious woman whose downfall included a donkey and a gourd.) There is only one way to find out if the life of the cloister is for you. Go forth and indulge. If, after a steady diet of Bad Behaviour and Bacchanalia, you find yourself still feeling strangely empty, so to speak, you will have to grit your teeth, shave your head, and don the robes. Sometimes, delayed-even permanently so-gratification is the best kind there is.