Given the times, and since we are squeezed for space here this week, let's get right down to brasstacks and look at alternative ways to celebrate Dasain.
Statistics show that Nepalis will consume 75 percent of their
annual intake of animal protein during the coming week. There must be a similar breakdown for alcohol consumption as well. Dasain is about binging, and proof is the overpowering aroma emanating from the Bagmati in its immediate aftermath.
So this Dasain, let's try to do things differently. A sample survey around the office came up with the following ideas:-
. Turn vegetarian (if it is difficult, take a tour of the Goat, Sheep and Poultry Concentration Camp at Balkhu, the Haven for Free-ranging Rangos in Khumaltar or Dakhshinkali Temple on Saturday morning to observe the animals as they attain martyrdom and regain paradise)
. Refuse to buy any new clothes and shoes. In fact, donate all your new ones and get into your old pants. That is if you can still fit into them.
. Boycott all fashion shows, auto marts, consumer electronic sale bonanzas, and lotteries that tie your subscription to this paper to a wall clock or microwave oven.
. Be selective, don't visit relatives you don't like.
. Get the hell out of Nepal, go to Goa. Better still, emigrate.
. If anyone tells you to "go fly a kite" smack him on the nose.
. Drink yourself silly so you'll be judged unfit for paplu sessions.
.....
Since Dasain is a clan festival, our semi-overground comrades seem to have reinforced their belief in revolution by keeping it within the family. In the grand tradition of communist utopias like North Korea, they are passing the revolutionary spirit from The Great Leader to The Dear Leader. Our own Awe-inspiring Chairman is turning his progeny into a prot?g?. The son is also rising in the rest of the politburo. Comrade Dinanath has conscripted his firstborn to be his secretary and bodyguard and Comrade Deb has junior in tow at all times.
But on intra-party relationships the party has drawn the line. The dapper Commander of the Eastern Div, Comrade Badal and his comrade-at-arms, Comrade Pampha were rapped on the knuckles over some over-comradely behaviour in the past. But Maoist marriages are in full swing as the rank and file use the ceasefire period to tie the nuptial knots of holy matrimony en masse. \'Donations\' are now known by their nom de guerre: \'wedding gifts\'.
The party liaison office at Kopundole recently had glittering lights cascading down from roof terrace as a party party was in full swing. At this rate by this time next year there should be an underground baby boom.
