It is a disgrace and embarrassment that two months after abolishing the national anthem we still don't have a new one. In fact, it's hard to figure out which is a greater shame: that we don't have a national anthem or that we don't have a national bird.

One of the aftershocks of the April Pheasant Revolution is that the danfe has been dethroned as Nepal's national bird, but because he refuses to step down we can't replace him yet. Several candidates have put in applications for the position and the following have been shortlisted: the Red-Vented Bulbul, the Rooster, the Greater Russet- Whiskered Himalayan Twit and the Griffon Vulture. But we won't know until after the Constituent Assembly is elected which of these feathered friends will be bestowed the honour of representing our proud nation on its coat
of arms.

Keeping to the trend of eradicating all vestiges of our feudal past, the rhododendron has also been overthrown as our national flower because of its association with entities which were active in crushing the pro-democracy movement. It will be replaced with a flower that has more proletarian antecedents, and the Sub-Committee for Airbrushing the Regressive Royal Past has narrowed down the search to the Clover and the Sweet Pea.

But it is the absence of the national anathema that is paralysing the normal business of government. National days of various embassies in Kathmandu have been anthem-less. The departure of the prime minister for health checkups have been devoid of the pomp and ceremony they deserve. And without the anthem, Radio Nepal and Nepal Television don't have a tune to conclude their daily programming every night, so they are forced to be on air 24 hours.

Forget the peace process, let's get a national anthem before the nation grinds to a halt due to our unanthemic state. OK, can we at least decide on an interim anthem?

To speed things up, we are using this week's column to allow readers to vote on the song that they think should be our interim anthem. (Pls grade each song on a scale of 0-10 and mail your rankings to: [email protected])

1. Resham phiriri, resham phiriri udera jaunki danda ma bhanjyang resham phiriri (The most popular folk song in Nepal, sung gustily by foreigners and domestics alike especially when they are drunk, epitomises our current anarchic state.) Ranking: ..

2. Wari jamuna pari jamuna jamuna ko phedaima Manakamana (Will make a great anthem because of that stanza lower down where one has to wolf whistle.) Ranking: .

3. Balaka baburo, dijasuka nama (The famous poem Pijara ko suga as rendered by 1974 AD has the kind of symbolism needed in the serious anthem of a serious country which we can yell at the top of our lungs to go with its heavy metal accompaniment.)
Ranking: ..

4. Bheda ko oon jasto (Not that I want to sway the voting process in any way, but this one is my personal favourites for national anthem, it'll have the whole nation dancing in the aisles.) Ranking: 10.

5. Ho ho Male ho ho, ho ho A-Male ho ho (Great song that exhorts Nepal's peasants to work harder to ensure greater productivity of paddy harvests, but unfortunately has to be disqualified for mentioning only the CPN-ML and CPN-UML and leaving out the other members of the SPA.) Ranking: 0.