We were always opposed to foreign interference in this country's internal affairs and that is why the nation heaved a collective sigh of relief when Baba-san went back to Japan.

We in Kathmandu can breathe easy again and revert to our usual behaviour on the streets. The police chief can once more run the red light at Baneswor intersection without fear or favour and jaywalkers can again jaywalk wherever they feel like jaywalking.

As an independent nation, we were enjoying the freedom to break every traffic rule in the book--we didn't need some samurai to come and trample all over the sovereignty and territorial integrity just because they built the traffic junctions.

How agitated we are on our streets, which side of the road we drive on is our own business, and the Japanese should think twice about poking their nose into how we Gorkhalis conduct ourselves. Remember Burma!

Ever since we drove Baba out and restored self-determination on our streets, a sense of national pride has returned to the capital and there is a feeling that we finally have our destiny in our own hands when we make a dangerous high speed illegal U-turn on Darbar Marg.

You can usually tell how civilized a country is by the way its citizens drive. Put a Nepali behind a wheel and you see him transformed from a docile wimp into a model citizen exhibiting all our proud national traits: a go-getter mind-set as we race to beat the man in a wheelchair at the zebra, demonstrate our legendary bravery by driving at 90 kmph through Dilli Bajar, and display a can-do attitude by overtaking a school bus from the left while it is letting off children.

Let us therefore take this opportunity to remind ourselves of some of our basic traffic rules through these frequently asked questions:

Q: Which side of the road do I generally drive on in Nepal?
A: Generally we drive on the left side of the road, but generals in motorcades with sirens blaring can drive on either side or in the middle.

Q: What do I do if there is an escorted ministerial convoy trying to overtake me at Tribhuban Salik?
A: Let it pass you and then step on it to tail-gate the escort vehicle otherwise you'll never get out of the jam at Teku. Note: If honourable minister turns turtle near the stadium get the hell out of there or you'll be stuck for hours.

Q: What are the rules on the use of turn indicators?
A: In the city: a blinking right sidelight means vehicle is thinking of turning right but isn't sure, it could be left. On highways: blinking right signal means car behind can overtake even if he plunges down into the Trisuli as he does so. While stationary: a right sidelight on Putali Sadak means I've parked in a no-parking zone, but I'm pretending I'm not parked, just gone in for a takeout from Moonlight Sekuwa Corner and Bar.

Q: On the Jawalakhel Traffic Circle what are the rules on the right of way?
A: Four legs good, two wheels bad. Give way to cattle approaching from the right, but if it is a Maruti accelerate immediately and beat him to the turn. If it is a VVIP on a motorcycle, pull over and play dead.

Q: Have the authorities made up their minds on mobile phones?
A: Yes. The ban on the use of mobile phones while driving has been lifted because the #$%&* thing never works anyway. It is also henceforth legal to stop the car, place your defunct phone on the road and run over it repeatedly until it breathes no more.