I have had my share of frustrations working in the gender field with so-called liberal men of the NGO/INGO profession. But nothing beats the level of humiliation I experienced as a woman in a recent incident with the Officer of the Land Revenue Department in Chabahil.

My parents with the best of intentions decided to share their property equally among their children. My father kept reminding us about the magnanimity of his gesture. I didn't care much for his words as I thought it was only fair to allow daughters to inherit parental property. But when it came to making it all legal, the officer of the Land Revenue Department called my sister and I to his desk and started interrogating us. "Is it fair for you sisters to claim parental property when your brother is still living? Don't you think you should be increasing the wealth of your ghar rather than decreasing the wealth of your maiti?" In the office, heads turned, some men whispered and women gasped. My parents finally intervened and pointed to a document where my brother, a successful economist in the States, had willingly consented to the sharing. The officer was still not satisfied. My mother tried to explain that as parents they believed in equality between sons and daughters.

But even if my sister is able to claim her right to property she will not able to sell it unless her husband and in-laws give their full consent. As for me, I haven't been able to figure out why that government clerk had to take the matter, which was none of his business, so personally? It is only thanks to people like my father and brother that gender equality has hope in this country. Also women like my mother who stood up to that opinionated, chauvinist pig.

Sabina,
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