Due to a widespread wave of national revulsion created by a previous column listing the ten things I like about Nepal (#205), and due to popular demand to excommunicate me from the Federation of Nepali Journalists (FNJ) which I fully endorse, I am left with no other option than to think up ten more things I sort of like about Nepal.

But this time it comes with the caveat that any part of this list may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise provided no mention is made of its original author who, by the way, bears no resemblance to any person living or dead and any such resemblance is purely coincidental. Also, the representation of any real person in this column is done with purely malicious intent and for the purpose of causing embarrassment and offence.

Right, now that we have those legal issues out of the way, we can get down to the part you have all been patiently waiting for by throwing beer cans at the podium. Here is an expanded list of ten more nice things about Nepal in a descending order of niceness:

11. We Nepalis are very serious about preserving our heritage, and one proof of this is the pre-paid airport taxi service which only uses vintage cars manufactured during the reign of Maharaj Juddha Shumshere, or older. Besides being a tourist attraction, the antique Datsuns and Toyopets are fuel efficient because they don't actually have any engines, so they coast downhill till the Ring Road from where the passengers have to help the driver push it to their destination. Fare is calculated on the number of kilometers the tourist pushes the car with an Airport Limo Service surcharge and generous tip to the driver for making such an unforgettable experience possible.
12. It is an age-old tradition in Nepal to atone for our misdemeanours by volunteering to yank out water hyacinths from lakes.
13. The word "no" doesn't exist in our vocabulary, we will take anything even if we don't need it. As long as it is free.
14. Nothing is secret in Nepal. In fact, it is no secret that secret talks are going on in secret at a secret venue which I'll tell you all about some other time.
15. We are a transparent nation, and wash all our dirty underwear in front of foreigners so they know we have nothing to hide.
16. Lotteries are the latest craze in Nepal. Many Nepalis have won lotteries to get American green cards, jobs in Korea and even diamond rings in our instant noodle packs that we sometimes swallow by mistake out of sheer greed.
17. Our leaders set a great example to the rest of us by never flying Royal Nepal Airlines if they can help it, since they want to avail themselves to the 'Fly One...Get One Free' offer from BIMSTEC Airways which is a member of the Star Alliance network.
18. Our sheer ingenuity. We are an adaptable and resourceful people who can find our way around any rule or regulation. Like the woman with the suitcase at the airport this week who was found to have hidden 15,000 Canadian dollars and Japanese yen inside her false bottom (of the suitcase, not the woman).
19. Those of you already fully-apprised of our national past time of nose-grooming can skip this point and go on to number 20. We are a very hygienic people and are always busy keeping our orifices squeaky clean. Like my neighbourhood taxi driver the interior of whose nasal cavity is spotless, although the same can't be said about the interior of his Maruti which in the rainy season has water hyacinths growing out of the dashboard.
20. Since everyone is laughing at us, we have no option but to laugh at ourselves as well.