TOURISTS can CARRY FIREARMS

In a significant move to boost tourism, Nepal has become the first country in the world to henceforth allow visitors to bring in duty-free personal firearms.

The first group of heavily-armed Indian tourists to avail of this new facility visited Nepal last week. Police in Thankot, who had not been apprised of the new rule, detained the pilgrims briefly.

But they were released with profuse apologies from the Ministry of Tourism and Internal Security and whisked away to Pashupatinath. There they were required to deposit cameras at the gate, take off their shoes and leave their leather wallets, but were waved in carrying their submachine guns and assault rifles into the sanctum sanctorum.

"Shooting of photographs by Hindus is strictly prohibited inside the temple," explained a member of the Pashupati Trust, "but if groups of devotees want to engage in shootouts, we have no problems with that."

In a separate development, a group of Indian multi-billionaires flew into Kathmandu in their own Learjet this week on a brief pilgrimage to the shrines of Pashupatinath, Gujeswori and the Royal Everest Casino. Since they had heard that there was unrest in Nepal, the dignitaries brought grenade launchers, bazookas and 71mm mortars with them.

However, the scion of one of India's biggest steel barons was detained at airport customs for having in his possession more perambulators and tricycles than is legally allowed to be imported into Nepal. He was finally let in after demonstrating to authorities that the said items were actually cleverly disguised rocket launchers and tripod-mounted howitzers.

JUMBO CABINET MEETS

The venue for the first scheduled meeting of the new jumbo cabinet had to be changed Thursday after not everyone fit into the conference room in Singha Darbar.

The cabinet then met at the Dasrath Stadium and, in order not to waste any more time, quickly got down to items on the agenda that needed urgent attention. It was brought to the notice of the prime minister that some of his new inductees weren't wearing black coats and topis, and they were immediately dispatched to Dormeuil on Putali Sadak to have new suits made at the taxpayer's expense.

The prime minister then laid the ground rules for his new administration, which included: an immediate ban on all mother-in-law jokes during cabinet meetings. But back-stabbing, tongue-lashing, paying lip service, pulling each other's legs, idle banter and other demonstrations of camaraderie and bonhomie would be encouraged, he said.

The prime minister noted that he had learnt from mistakes during his previous two tenures and this time he would try not to repeat them. "For example, in order to prevent the government from making serious blunders, we will not take any decisions," he instructed his cabinet. "We won't actually be doing anything, so there is no way we will make any mistakes."

Meanwhile, disgruntled members of various parties in the coalition who were not included in the expanded cabinet have decided to form their own party called RPPUMLNSPNCD (Disgruntled). Spokesperson of this new anti-coalition coalition, Roshan Karki, who looked quite disgruntled, told newshounds: "We will not allow this government to do nothing, unless the prime minister expands his cabinet to 102 members and gives us all portfolios so we can also do nothing."