Let's face it, flying has lost its aura of romance and adventure. Gone are the days when, as children, we climbed up the slanted cabin of a Royal Nepal Airlines DC-3 at Simra and the smell of leaky barf bags assailed our nostrils prompting us to throw up even before we took off. The excitement! The grandeur of air travel in the old days! We can look back with nostalgia and nausea to that lost era of aviation when flying meant stuffing cotton wool into your ear canal and putting your digestive canal into reverse gear.

These days, flights into Kathmandu are so boring that the cabin crew tries to keep passengers from staging an in-flight mutiny by keeping them busy with paperwork. Forms are distributed as soon as the aircraft takes off for Kathmandu so passengers have ample time to fill out His Majesty's Government Strange Customs Declaration Form, the Department of Irritation's Disembarkation Card, and Appendicitis-1 Related to Rule 4 (3), 5 (2) & 6 (5) Visa Form For Entry.

To assist passengers unfamiliar with these entry formalities, we offer below a sneak preview of past question papers so prospective visitors to Nepal have a headstart in their in-flight entry examination. Be warned, only those who pass this test will be allowed to enter Nepal.

Family Name: ______________________________ Given Name: __________________________________
Not-given Name: ____________________________ Nom de Guerre: _______________________________
Date of Birth (if applicable): _________________________________________________________________
Nationality at Birth: _______________________________________________________________________
Nationality in Previous Incarnation: ___________________________________________________________
Permanent Address: ______________________________________________________________________
Semi-permanent address: _________________________________________________________________
Underground Address: ____________________________________________________________________
Royal Address: __________________________________________________________________________
Occupation (tick one box only): ______________________________________________________________

Doctor Engineer
Anti-Torture Expert Part-Time NRN
Currently unoccupied Tourist
Terrorist Charles Sobhraj

Sex: (tickle only one)
No, thank you Yes, please

Race:
Human Inhuman Marathon

Passport No.:
Fake Passport No.: _______________________________________________________________________
Place of Birth: ___________________________________________________________________________
Place of Expiry: __________________________________________________________________________

Object of Journey (encircle one):
Official/Semi-official/Trekking/Expedition/Business/Pleasure/Meditation/Mediation/Convention/Rafting/Deported Asylum Seeker/Extradited Comrade
Next port of call:
Mombasa Rangoon Batavia
Passengers can use the Green Channel if they are carrying the following items in the specified quantity:
Passengers having gold or gold ornaments not more than 50gm and silver or silver ornaments not more than 500gm, two sacks of mobile phones, used linen, one camera, one tricycle, four perambulators, one binocular, one telescope, one non-biodegradable barf bag, 50 cigars, 250gm of chewing tobacco, fresh fruits.
Passengers have to use the Red Channel if they have the following items:
More than two sacks of mobile phones, more than 15 tricycles, more than a reasonable number of perambulators, telescopes in excess of one for everyday use, dirty linen, skeletons in the closet, rotten fruits.
Remember:
Green Channel is not a Green Light. Walking through the Green Channel with Dutiable Items may lead to confiscation of goods, fine, penalty, prosecution, a medal and an ambassadorship. However, running through the Green Channel is allowed, just don't get caught.
Foreign Currency:
Detection of undeclared foreign currency is legally punishable and will result in the confiscation of the said amount, and you will rot in jail unless you pay us a baksheesh equivalent to the confiscated amount. Although, how you are going to do that if you are rotting in jail is beyond us, but we'll figure out a way.

Welcome to Nepal, and enjoy your perambulations.