As the world gets ready to solemnly commemorate the United Nations International Day of Fools (IDF) on 1 April, here in Nepal itself, the government has formed a 350-member April Fool's Day Celebration Main Committee headed by some of Nepal's most outstanding certified idiots. It is appropriate and proper that April Fool's Day should be celebrated with such enthusiasm and gusto in our homeland given that we are currently living in a Fool's Paradise. Nowhere else in the world is mediocrity commemorated with such passion as it is here, with groveling sycophantic newspaper columns like this one that are living proof that, as far as Nepal is concerned, every day is April First and we have a foolproof system for suffering fools.

To mark All Fools Day, which by coincidence happens to fall on 1 April this year, the Committee is planning all kinds of foolish activities that will throw light on the great strides this country has taken in making a complete ass of itself among the international community of nations. For instance, Nepali leaders will be sending out congratulatory telegrams to all fellow heads of government felicitating them on the occasion of 1 April, 2004 and wishing them many happy returns of the day.

Newspapers will bring out special April Fool Supplements, which will contain funny lies about our respected rulers in headlines like: 'Prime Minister Dozes Off At Cabinet Meeting'. Harharharhar! These April Fool headlines are so funny, yar. Luckily, we don't even have to make anything up since April Fool headlines are actually indistinguishable from non-April Fool Headlines like: 'Govt Denies Prime Minister Dozed Off At Cabinet Meeting'.
For those foolhardy enough to believe the newspapers on April Fools Day, here is a sneak preview of a headline from next week:

Nepal Has Failed Successfully: Experts

KATHMANDU - The Organisation of Failed States (OFS) has finally decided to give membership to Nepal, saying it is in recognition of the country's laudable efforts in showing the rest of the world the way backward.

Delegates from all the world's states that are proud to call themselves failed are arriving in Kathmandu next week to take part in a three-day international seminar titled 'How To Ruin Your Motherland in Five Easy Steps: A Guide for States Aspiring to Fail Spectacularly'. The conference is expected to formally approve Nepal's accession to the OFS, which brings with it many benefits such as pouring more good money after bad.

"This is indeed a great achievement, we have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory," said Phool Kumar Nepal, head of the government's April Fool's Day Celebration Main Committee. "But we can't rest on our laurels, we must rest on our pillows and go back to sleep."

The conference is also expected to pick Kathmandu as the venue for the soon to be set-up Research Institute for Failed States. The short-list of strong contenders were Lumumbashi, Timbuktu, Loubomo and Bongo-bongo, but Nepal won hands down after promising that the secretariat would be located on the landfill site on the banks of the Bishnumati to give it an authentic Turd World ambience.