I have jotted down my own Nepal Traffic Rule Book to add to the suggestions provided by David Cloud in 'Trafficking in Kathmandu' (#176) to assist drivers who may need guidance in attempting this extreme sport:

1 Whoever occupies the space first, wins.
2 Avoid driving into a pothole even if the alternative is a head-on
collision.
3 If you want to make a right turn then signal right.
4 If you want someone to pass you on the right, then signal right.
5 Try to drive as far on the wrong side of the road as possible to marginalise the expansive plans of oncoming traffic. Otherwise you'll never make it across town.
6 Give an angry look to other drivers when they cut you off.
7 Give an angry look to the other drivers when you cut them off.
8 Its OK to kill someone just make sure you don't injure them. That is far too expensive.
9 It is preferable to drive a pick-up truck for a few reasons: you have automatic right of way over everyone else no matter what (except for the large trucks which are gods)
10 If you must get home on time... walk.
11 Traffic lights are only a suggestion of what to do, so make up your own mind!
12 If you are a recent migrant to the city, make sure to cover your eyes when walking across the street. If you cannot see it, it cannot hurt you.
13 Insurance for bicycle riders is cheap and lucrative. That's why cyclers seem as if they are trying hard to get themselves hurt .
14 If you drive a motorcycle and you can create a three-hour long traffic jam by sliding up along the slow traffic and filling all the gaps, please do it.
15 NEVER, EVER, back your car to free up a jam.

PS: Always carry a printed version of these rules so when you get pulled over by police you can show this to them and they will let you go.

Adam Friedensohn,
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