CHENNAI - A short visit to southern climes has been a good opportunity to review my last close acquaintance with a South Asian city where crab is readily available. It is also a time to come face-to-face with subcontinental journalism. A Mumbai history graduate student from the University of Chicago has begun to slowly compile a 21st Century Hobson Jobson: 'a lexicon of the marvellous clich?s, truisms, banalities and other little idiosyncrasies that litter the pages of our Great Indian Newspapers'. Nearly four years later, it is obvious that there are other contenders for greatness. Even Nepali journalism has fallen under the oppressive hold of Language 'Ultras'in the last two years.
Here is a small sampling of what it means to read newspapers in this part of the world. And, as Rao, the soul of the project, requested readers in his preface to this priceless list, I too ask you to 'pitch in', to 'leap into the fray', to 'throw in your two pence worth'.
1. confabulate: to confer. 'The party leaders confabulated about the new agreement.'
2. work out the modalities: sort out the details. 'The party leaders confabulated about working out the modalities of the new agreement.'
3. supremo: head dude. 'The party supremos confabulated about working out the modalities of the new agreement.'
4. brigand: bad dude. 'The Karnataka and Tamil Nadu supremos confabulated about working out the modalities of the new agreement with the forest brigand.'
5. crack sleuths: smart dudes. 'The Karnataka and Tamil Nadu supremos confabulated with the Special Task Force's crack sleuths about working out the modalities of the new agreement with the forest brigand.'
6. strongman: big dude. 'The Karnataka and Tamil Nadu supremos, in consultation with the Maratha strongman, confabulated with the Special Task Force's crack sleuths about working out the modalities of the new agreement with the forest brigand.'
7. airdash: to move at other than usual glacial pace. 'The Karnataka and Tamil Nadu supremos, in consultation with the Maratha strongman, confabulated with the Special Task Force's crack sleuths about working out the modalities of the new agreement with the forest brigand. The PM himself has been airdashed in.'
8. beefed up security: more bodies, but not necessarily more security. 'The Karnataka and Tamil Nadu supremos, in consultation with the Maratha strongman, confabulated with the Special Task Force's crack sleuths about working out the modalities of the new agreement with the forest brigand. The PM himself has been airdashed in under conditions of beefed up security.'
9. second only to Scotland Yard: the subtext is that it's not anymore
10. swing into action: to finally stop drinking chai and reluctantly get off your ass.
11. swoop down upon: 'The Karnataka and Tamil Nadu supremos, in consultation with the Maratha strongman, confabulated with the Special Task Force's crack sleuths about working out the modalities of the new agreement with the forest brigand. The PM himself has been airdashed in under conditions of beefed up security. Meanwhile the Mumbai police force, second only to Scotland Yard and having been called in to assist with the situation, have now swung into action and are ready to swoop down upon the brigand and his associates.'
12. nab: seize
13. hardened criminals: tough dudes
14. And finally, a favourite in those times when people are swinging into action: 'flying squads of nuisance detectors.' These are the Mumbai PD's intrepid stalwarts who have been relentlessly patrolling the city enforcing the municipality's ban on plastic bags of less than 20 microns thickness: 'The Karnataka and Tamil Nadu supremos, in consultation with the Maratha strongman, confabulated with the Special Task Force's crack sleuths about working out the modalities of the new agreement with the forest brigand. The PM himself has been airdashed in under conditions of beefed up security. Meanwhile the Mumbai police force, second only to Scotland Yard, having been called in to assist with the situation have now swung into action and are ready to swoop down upon the brigand and his associates. In other news today, a flying squad of nuisance detectors managed to nab three hardened criminals who have been remorselessly violating the ban on plastic bags.'
