Efforts by the travel and tourism trade to promote Meetings, Incentives, Conventions and Exhibitions (MICE) in Nepal finally appear to be paying off. People from all known human sub-species, political affiliations, and caste backgrounds are suddenly descending on our fair city to hold seminars, workshops and hunger strikes.

They have found that Kathmandu is an ideal venue for such events because of its scenery, salubrious climate and complete freedom to stage street protests that bring traffic to a standstill outside the International Unconventional Centre. All this augurs well for the future development of our tourism industry, and if present trends are any indication, we could even contemplate bidding to host the 2009 Allahabad Kumbha Mela in Nepal.

This week saw Kathmandu chosen as the venue for the XVII International Convention of Brahmins in which upper caste delegates from all over the world took part. After the plenary, participants broke up into sub-groups to discuss burning issues like: 'Why don't low caste people like us?', 'Untouchability can prevent future SARS outbreak&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'&#'216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;216;', 'Imaginative new uses for the holy thread', and 'Replacing English with Sanskrit as an international language'. However, a delegation of Boston Brahmins which wanted to discuss 'Greater tolerance of the views of upper caste Americans' was hooted off the podium.

Aside from the fact that we Brahmins are directly descended from God (which means we have a fast-track to heaven when the time comes to go) being a Brahmin has a lot of other fringe benefits. As general sales agents here on Earth for the Almighty, Brahmins get a cut from all transactions between the spiritual and temporal planes. Being divine middlemen, we also have broadband access for all communications between heaven and earth. Lately, there has been some heavy two-way traffic and to accommodate the added workload, the International Convention of Brahmins has decided in its nine-point Kathmandu Declaration to open a permanent secretariat in Nepal in recognition of this country's ability to make no progress at all in socio-cultural reform.

This week also saw the annual get-together of the newly-formed Ex-Prime Minister's Organisation of South Asia (EPMOSA) in which deposed, ousted, retired and vanquished heads of state and government from the subcontinent came together to push for a restoration of democracy in each others countries so that they can get back to doing whatever hankypanky they were engaged in before being unceremoniously unseated.

The closed-door conference unanimously elected ex-prime minister Benazir Bhutto as Chairperson, ex-general Hussain Mohammad Ershad of Bangladesh as General Secretary and ex-prime minister Girija Prasad Koirala of Nepal as Treasurer. Deceased heads of non-South Asian countries like ex-President Dr Hastings Banda of Malawi and ex-President Papa Doc Duvalier of Haiti have been granted special observer status in future EPMOSA meetings.

MICE tourism promoters in Nepal have also got inquiries from the Revolutionary International Movement (RIM) which wants to hold its next International Convention of Underground Revolutionaries in Kathmandu. RIM says Nepal was chosen as a tribute to the rapid strides this country has taken in realising the goals of the international proletarian revolution and global solidarity against parasitic running dog imperialist lackeys, traitorous revisionist cliques and expansionist regional hegemons.