Among the former colonies in our neighbourhood there has been a great wave of renaming countries, cities, streets and airports. And just for the heck of it, they keep changing the spellings of all their major cities at least once very two years.

Although Nepal itself never had the pleasure of colonising anyone (except the recent acquisition of a suburb of Doha which we wrested from the Malayalis after a brief but fierce struggle) it may be a good idea for us to follow this international trend in changing place names just for the heck of it to prove that we are not being left behind, and we are marching in goose-step with the times.

Some gender-sensitive people have drawn my attention to the fact that there is a male-bias in the words Himalaya and Man Sarovar, and we should start referring to the world's greatest mountain range as Heralaya and the holiest lake as Person Sarovar. After all, so many of our peaks are named after women, like Mount Annapurna, Mount Ama Dablam, and Mount Everest. Yes, you in the front row.of course George Everest was a guy, silly, that was just to test whether you're still awake. But our feminists have a point. So, with the permission of the chair, I would like to table a resolution that the Lonely Planet people alter all references to Himalaya, Himalchuli, Man Sarovar, Manang, Manakamana, in their next edition of Trekking in Nepal.

There have been half-hearted attempts in our own country in the past to rename towns after deceased national figures, but this campaign soon ground to a halt because we ran out of expired illustrious personages. We shouldn't let this deter us, there are still thousands of famous people who are still hale and hearty and thousands of towns out there waiting to be renamed. Also we have a royal government that seems to have a lot of time on its hands. The All-Nepal Renaming Towns Just for the Heck of It National Commission has put forth the following suggestions which will be approved during the next all-party mass meeting by a show of hands:

Old Name -New Name
Pokhara - Machhapuchharenagar
Khumjung - Hillaryganj
Mugling - Dalbhatbesi
Kakarbhitta - Girijakot
Surkhet - Phuket
Rampur - Rambahadurpur

Why stop at towns? Kathmandu has a lot of unimaginative names of streets and neighbourhoods that have to be brought up to date. The Commission has renamed the following with immediate effect, and anyone found still using the old name will be banished to Tulsipur, or shall we say, Tribhuban Nagar.

Old Name - New Name
Chakra Path - Prachanda Path
Bhedasing - Marich Man Singh
Jawalakhel - Jawaharlalkhel
Maharajganj - Comradeganj
Kopundole - Coupon Tol
Thankot - Octroikot
Taksar - TaskarTaskar
Bhaisepati - Rangopati
Bhaktapur - Chimni-Bhattapur
Pradarsani Marg - Baburam Bypass
Bagmati - Plasticbag-mati
Bishnumati - Sisnumati
Kanti Path - Shining Path
Tribhuban University - Arson and Pyrotechnic Institute