Of all the investment opportunities available today, the Iraq USD Capital Protected Growth Fund provides the highest yield and earnings potential. As a new investor who has just put my entire life savings into this scheme, I share with readers this email so you too can also make big bucks:

From: uday@scud-farm.com.iq
Subject: An offer you can't refuse
Date: 18 March, 2003

Good Day Respectable Sir/Madam,
You may be very surprised to receive this email since we haven't met, but I'm sure you've heard of me. I am Uday, son of the president of Iraq (pronounced "eye-rack"), His Excellency Saddam Hussein.

I have it in good authority that you are a reasonably greedy person who will not hesitate to grab hard cash when it is waved under your nostrils. That is why I'm writing to you, so I beg your indulgence.

If you have been following CNN, you will know that my Dad has for some time now been lifting one leg to make fairly loud and rude reports in the general direction of Globocop Bush and his sidekick, Deputy-Sheriff Blair. He has therefore been wrongly accused of concealing more biological weapons in various nooks and crannies.

If detonated in a crowded closed space, and depending on prevailing winds, Dad's stinkers have been known to wreak mass destruction in a five metre radius.

Since he is going to be smashed into pulp any minute now by a broad multilateral US-led coalition composed of Great Britain, Andorra, the Canaries and the Federated States of Micronesia, Daddy had asked me to stash his cash at a secret vault in Zurich. However, as you may have gathered, my father's bank accounts have been frozen until he agrees to live in exile in Des Moines, Idaho, for the rest of his natural life.

Due to the aforementioned reasons, I am soliciting for your humble and confidential assistance to take custody of FIFTY million United States Dollars (US$50,000,000.00), and to also front for the extended Hussein family in the areas of business you deem profitable. These funds need to be accessed by a trustworthy proxy on behalf of my father, and that is why we are approaching you because we know for a fact that not only are you exceptionally greedy, but you are also a complete idiot.

So, to start with, all you need to do is open a bank account in the Cayman Islands with a minimum deposit of EIGHT hundred thousand United States Dollars (US$800,000.00) and give me power of attorney to be the sole operator of this account. Then, using my Dad's secret password you will transfer the US$50 million (United States Dollars Five plus six zeroes) into the same confidential account in the Caymans, since he is not allowed to operate it himself.

Dad and myself will then transfer 20 percent of the fifty million to any bank account you give us. (Cross our hearts.) We will also refund any of your incidental expenses on snacks, phone calls or taxis during the course of this Grandmother of all Transactions.

Please, sir or madam, I need your entire support and cooperation for the success of this deal, your utmost confidentiality and secrecy is highly required due to my family's present predicament. Since time is of the essence, kindly call me as soon as you have deposited the eight hundred grand into my Caymans account.

Warmest regards,
Uday Hussein
PS: Anyone you know in Des Moines we can look up?