Caught up in all the festivities, one important anniversary slipped by largely unnoticed. It was the 20th anniversary of the first ever use of an emoticon in an email message in 1982:
Nuclear scientist #1: Wakey, wakey you lazy #$%&*! Orangutan :-)
Nuclear scientist #2: Ha! Ha! Ha! Groovy!
See what I mean? The beauty of the smiley emoticon was that you could hurl the worst insults ever invented, casting serious aspersions about your interlocutor's female ancestors, if any, and if you stuck a little smiley at the end, all would be forgiven.
The world has moved on, of course. And the primitive BBS of 20 years ago have given way to the internet, search engines, personalised sites, and chat rooms. I entered one of these chat rooms recently, and realised just how advanced the language of the internet has become as youngsters communicate with each other about matters of vital importance to the future of the world. Here is a short extract from one such chat room which is open 24 hours of every solar day:
Enter LOVER BOY.
LOVER BOY: Hi guyz
GEEK: I really think ratifying the Kyoto Protocol is the only way to prevent the unpredictable side-effects of climate change.
GOONDA: Whadddiz? ur in wrong room, get out of here.
CHOR enters room.
CHOR: That is like so totally uncool, man.
LOVER BOY: Hi galz.
YAMRAJ enters room.
YAMRAJ: Wutz kookin, guyz
LOVER BOY: asl?
LOVER BOY: galz, PM me
GOONDA: brb
GOONDA leaves room
CHOR: goonda's gone 2 loo
PINKY: no, goonda gone 2 PM
PINKY: mwahahahahaha
LOVER BOY: hey Yamraj you guy or gal?
YAMRAJ: lol
GEEK: The only way to address the greenhouse effect is if America cuts carbon emissions by 5% of 1991 levels.
PINKY: ok g2g
PINKY leaves room.
LOVER BOY: au reservoir, pinky c u later
LOVER BOY: anyone still here of the female species
GOONDA enters room.
GOONDA: am back yar
YAMRAJ: ya i'm phemale
LOVER BOY: lets go PM
Unfortunately, the vocabulary of our future stars is constricted by the limitations of the qwerty keyboard. We need to give expression to the vast array of emotions and hormones that flow through these chats, and here is where emoticons can play an important role. We also need to move beyond smiley to other emoticons more relevant to the times. Here is a sample:
:o Wild boar emerging through fog
C|:3@) Baseball pitcher blowing bubble gum
(:8-) Mahatma Gandhi
~(:-z Hare Krishna devotee snoring
@#$%&(;-{ Railway porter at Howrah Station
<(B-{} Sher Bahadur upon learning that he just got the sack
4:-o KP Bhattarai addressing press conference while chewing paan
<[:-]== The new Minister of Women and Social Welfare
$%g Ex-minister appearing at CIAA hearing
{:>=( Adolf Hitler on a bad hair day
