We are getting reliable reports that, public perception to the contrary notwithstanding, there is indeed the possibility of life after the World Cup. Readers are cautioned, however, that these are still unconfirmed news reports, and we shouldn't raise our hopes too high. Even so, since there is a chance that the world can get back to a semblance of normalcy after the World Cup, we must be alert and prepared to continue doing whatever it was we were doing a month ago: which is working towards total nuclear annihilation of the subcontinent. Hahahaha. Just joking.

Here in Nepal it means we can now safely go back to implementing the Second Phase of the Kathmandu Valley Synchronised Photovoltaic Traffic Light Installation Project, resume digging the Melamchi tunnel, and carry on where we left off to create political mayhem.

But even though the World Cup may have winded down, we know for a fact that the world will never be the same again. Already we are seeing Kathmandu boys coming out of their bartaman ceremonies sporting not tuppis, but Umit Davala hair-dos, which make them look like a large mutant leech ate most of their hair and died. Others prefer Ronaldo's semi-Mohican half-moon hair patch, and barber shops are reporting brisk business turning an entire cross-section of Nepali youth into Hasan Sas clones.
Over at the FIFA headquarters, football experts are already doing a lessons-learnt analysis for the next World Cup. Here are some of the proposals being discussed:

1. The referee can henceforth declare fouls against linesmen who suffer from eye disease. Referees can punish linesmen who disallow goals with 45 sit-ups while clutching their earlobes in full view of television cameras.
2. All referees who award penalties to teams diving in the D-area will be reported to God, who will take appropriate action at the Pearly Gates.
3. Since jersey-pulling has become so much fun, a special high-tensile elastic fabric will henceforth be used for all World Cup jerseys that allows them to be stretched right up to the corner flag when pulled by an opponent at the centre-line. Not only will this inject added fun and excitement to the game, but it will also make jersey-pulling a good way to stop a tackle from long range.
4. But FIFA has decided to draw the line at shorts-pulling. Spoilsports.
5. Besides the "FIFA Fair Play" moment, FIFA will henceforth highlight "FIFA Wildest Celebration" after every match in order to encourage players to carry out elaborate displays of joy after every goal. In future, Nigerians who score goals will be allowed to do two laps around the stadium with back-flips and somersaults.
6. Why only punish players with Yellow Cards and Red Cards? FIFA must introduce positive reinforcement with Gold Card for Fair Play and the Platinum Card for Funniest Player of the Match. This year's Platinum Card is jointly awarded to the two Cameroonians who had a mid-air collision above an Irish defender. That was so funny! We laughed so hard, we nearly had fits.
7. Football can be very emotional, and this year's Mushiest Team Award goes to the Argentinians (and especially) Batistuta who cried so much after failing to qualify that he had to be treated for dehydration