We agree with critics of the government who have serious misgivings about the size of our new jumbo jet cabinet. They are right: with 41 ministers, it's just not big enough.

How does the Primordial Minister think he is going to go about ushering in a new era of peace and development in this country if his cabinet is so seriously understaffed? For national construction and reconstruction to go on a war footing, we need an army of ministers, not just the pathetic platoon we have now.

We understand that the Premium Minister had a real problem on his hands to provide every new minister with the accoutrements of ministerhood, viz. and to wit: bodyguard, peon, cook, driver, wife, personal assistant, hangers-on, etc. But he must realise that aside from personal staff, every minister provides valuable jobs in his ministry for at least 300 constituents within the first month of taking office. We should look at the jumbo cabinet as a jumbo job creation opportunity that will bring down our national umemployment rate by several percentage points and make it unnecessary for Nepalis to migrate to work in Qatar anymore.

An expanded cabinet has a multiplier effect on the economy. This is why the Primeval Minister should ignore critics, and just go ahead and enlarge his cabinet some more: it is in the national interest.

But we would be remiss in our whistle-blowing duties if we did not bring to the attention of higher-up authorities that we are as a nation running seriously short of ministerial portfolios. This is why the Commission on Commissions and Kickbacks held a three-day workshop seminar at the Yak, Yak & Yak Hotel recently to brainstorm on the theme: "Ministries for all by 2002". Here are some of the excellent ideas:

Ministry of Distortion and Extortion: this new ministry will counter anti-government propaganda and will be a one-window office for party fund-raising activities
Ministry of Illegitimate Affairs: in the spirit of transparency, accountability and non-duplication, all covert and underhand deals will be referred to this ministry
Ministry of Adultery: dilution of petrol and diesel with kerosene is a national crisis and this ministry will punish adulterers by stoning them in public places during which those without sin will be asked to cast the first stone
Ministry of Tourism and Maoism: given the monetary contributions made by the tourism sector to the people's war effort, it was thought prudent that the two ministries be rolled into one
Ministry of Physical Therapy and No Works: prolonged inaction leads to atrophy, this ministry will ensure ministers burn a daily minimum of calories with simple stretching exercises under the table
Ministry of Home: this is the most coveted ministry mainly because you can work out of home
Ministry of Junkets and Aviation: in stark contrast this minister is never home, but amassing air miles
Ministry of Ministerial Administration: with the new 185-member cabinet there is a need for a ministry just to take the roll call during cabinet meetings and ensure enough pakoras to go around
Ministries without Portfolio: these are cunningly left vacant to accommodate disgruntled party members who did not get ministerial berths and are threatening to defect to the dissident faction.