How that every next movie coming out of Hollywood is featuring animals speaking in English, it is a only a question of time before a Bollywood film called Janwar will also be released starring a provocatively dressed cow romping around with udders swinging in the parking lot of a Swiss resort, while being chased by an el toro in heat from a nearby stud farm, and both belting out the duet, "Abto aajaa.mein hun pyar tera". And if Bollywood stars talking bovines, can Kollywood be
far behind?

The fact that most animals are fluent in human languages, can actually sing quite well in karaoke bars, and can secretly speak to each other in American English is something that has been overlooked by our film industry for far too long. It is only to be appreciated, therefore, that our producers are catching up with time lost and finally turning their attention to releasing copies of movies like Cats and Dogs, Shrek and Dr Dolittle and creating characters like Mr Tinkles who (if it wasn't for the timely intervention of a Beagle puppy 007 secret agent named Lou) would have gone on to become the world's only feline superpower.

So, what's the buzz in the animal kingdom? When are we going to have our own Nepali Dr Dolittle? The simple answer to these very pertinent and timely questions is: quite soon. With a name like that, Dr Dolittle will have to do little to be an instant box office hit in Gopi-Krishna Hall. It will also not be difficult to find a Nepali Eddie Murphy lookalike who can understand what animals from all walks of life are saying as he passes them on the street every day.

I myself couldn't help but overhear snippets of conversation between members of Kathmandu's non-human citizens this morning while on my way to work, and was pleasantly surprised to note that their concerns mirror the concerns of the human denizens of the kingdom's capital as we prepare to mark the festival season.

Dog #1: "Wow! Bow, wow! Tenderloin, mountains of tenderloin on my garbage pile."
Dog#2: "That's nothing, look at the lamb chops and spare ribs I found on mine. Mfgggnfffnghh.slurp, slurp."
Duck: "Hi guys, how is the garbage today?"
Dogs #1 and #2 (ignoring Duck): "Good thing no one sacrifices dogs in Dasain. Mwahahahaha.harharhar."
Duck: "You don't know what you are missing. I go straight to paradise like Goat here. Right, Goat?"
Goat: "Yup. We go to heaven, unlike you carnivores who are stuck in your mundane, putrescent world."
Dogs #1 and #2 (snarling): Hey, watch yer mouth. Who you calling mundane?"
Buffalo: "Hi Goat, hi Duck. I'm off to the Kot. What's it going to be for you guys this year, the Banepa Bus or the Safa Tempo?"
Goat: "Actually, ahem, I've been booked for the 757."
Buffalo: "Woa, moving up in the world, I see."
Dogs #1 and #2 (sniggering): "See bits of you all here next week, then."
Director: "Cut! OK, excellent. Thank you everyone, and see you all after Dasain."